Its true that it is very difficult, emily was looked at by the Health visitor when she was 3/4 and refered to paed for assessment and i SO wish she had been assessed then like euan goes through now as they would of seen a better picture! SHe can't stay on task and even now flits about between things her attension is so poor! But when we got the referal through euan had just been born and was in scbu, then had all his problems in the first year it just got left behind as it wasn't something that was drastically affecting her then. She had behaviour books etc in nursery and reception they couldnt control her she was basically left to rule the class (above the teacher), we blamed the school partially and moved her. Altho she has done LOADS better at her new school the consistently say she could do alot better if she could just put her mind to it but she cant! He handwritting is messy and rushed, they have to keep telling her to do her work because shes often talking, she shouts out answers and tries to boss the teachers about. She even corrects them (even tho shes often wrong) and she very much struggles with friends because again she wants to tell them what to do and children hate that! Its very upsetting as a parent when your 7year old comes home (like today) and says shes played on her own all day because no one would do as she said! I've tried explaining how if she does a bit of what they do then they will in return but she just doesnt get it. Shes awfull with instructions , shes forgot what i have asked her to do before shes even left the room!

Thing is, i feel like some days i am FOREVER telling her off and its frustrating because i can actually see that she can't help herself but what am i supposed to do? just let her run riot? its affecting our whole family life what with euan and his oddities and alfie being so young. And its not that she's being pushed out due to having 2 younger brothers because she was difficult before they were even in the picture. At the minute, i feel like i'm failing her and i dont want her to grow up thinking i have too!!!

xx

in some ways lucy you have an advantage now that you didnt have 3 years ago. you have a better understanding of how the system works and where to go and even who not to ask for help, there will be notes of the behaviour that happened at old school and now and you have new behaviour and emily is old enough to talk to and hopefully get an answer.
you are not failing her, that would be if you were ignoring the behaviour and letting her get away with it, you arent doing that, the first step is cahms which is what you have got in place, then you can ask them about further testing to get a diagnosis, even with that you arent going to say its ok for her to "borrow" so you are doing the right things already.


corinne

to be honest, i dont expect a diagnosis for emily, i think she would benefit from some behavioural therapy. Hopefully as she gets older she might be able to learn to control herself a bit better......but the thought that she wont be able to scares me!! i want her to be able to utilise her confidence and intelligence in a possitive way!

xx

(02-09-2010 08:03 PM)Lucy Wrote:  Its true that it is very difficult, emily was looked at by the Health visitor when she was 3/4 and refered to paed for assessment and i SO wish she had been assessed then like euan goes through now as they would of seen a better picture! SHe can't stay on task and even now flits about between things her attension is so poor! But when we got the referal through euan had just been born and was in scbu, then had all his problems in the first year it just got left behind as it wasn't something that was drastically affecting her then. She had behaviour books etc in nursery and reception they couldnt control her she was basically left to rule the class (above the teacher), we blamed the school partially and moved her. Altho she has done LOADS better at her new school the consistently say she could do alot better if she could just put her mind to it but she cant! He handwritting is messy and rushed, they have to keep telling her to do her work because shes often talking, she shouts out answers and tries to boss the teachers about. She even corrects them (even tho shes often wrong) and she very much struggles with friends because again she wants to tell them what to do and children hate that! Its very upsetting as a parent when your 7year old comes home (like today) and says shes played on her own all day because no one would do as she said! I've tried explaining how if she does a bit of what they do then they will in return but she just doesnt get it. Shes awfull with instructions , shes forgot what i have asked her to do before shes even left the room!

Thing is, i feel like some days i am FOREVER telling her off and its frustrating because i can actually see that she can't help herself but what am i supposed to do? just let her run riot? its affecting our whole family life what with euan and his oddities and alfie being so young. And its not that she's being pushed out due to having 2 younger brothers because she was difficult before they were even in the picture. At the minute, i feel like i'm failing her and i dont want her to grow up thinking i have too!!!

xx

please dont be so hard on yourself, your human. As long as your daughter knows how much you love her and show her that you are trying to help her as she grows im sure she will understand. Your dd sounds so much like my dd but my dd also has ASD so that may be worth looking into as well. I often feel as though im always shouting at my dd but i am making a constant effort to hug and kiss my dd that sounds bad constant effort but it can be hard when you have sent them to bed for doing something wrong and 30 mis later you are kissing and hugging but i always find something to praise her for. or if all else fails tell her about the day she was born and how special that was, she will go to sleep with a smile on her face and have sweet dreams.

Oh my god ANGER DOES NOT CUT THE WAY IM FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well since this thread went up we have had a few little hiccups:

1)Emily stole a cream egg from the car and hid it for another day..
2)Lucy caught Emily with her hands in Lucy coat pocket trying to steal money for more TUCK on a school day.

We dealt with these incidents in the past week until TONIGHT.......................

Last week i brought a 360g bag(JUMBO JUMBO BAG LETS SAY) of MINI EGGS and i opened them last week and decided they were too sweet and put them in my bedside cabinet to come back too.

Yesterday i bought a huge box of malteasers for me and Lucy but emily didnt know about these and me and Lucy has about 20 between us yesterday evening and i put them in my bedside cabinet.
Well 20 minutes ago i went to go into my bedside cabinet for a malteaser and guess what the WHOLE BOX GONE!!!!!!
Then open the top drawer and all my MINI EGGS GONE!!!!!

Angry and then look at the calories.....
It works out she has eaten 20 days of her Calories allowance in less than 24 hours......... on top of her big icecream that she was bought down the park and her pancakes aswell as her main meals of course..............
I so cant believe she has done this and cant put into words how i feel not only has she acted stupidly in eating so much but she has also gone into our bedrooms and gone through our personal stuff and stole something that does not belong to her.
Her health will suffer as well.
The most frustrating thing is we just cannot get a punishment to get a reaction from her.
If we say she cant have something she says ill have it the day after then and if we say you wont then she says well the day after and it carrys on............
If we say your not going to nannys she says ill go next week......
If we say no to anything she just sees it as one missed but next day or next week ill do it.....
She is becoming so hard at the moment as im so worried that she will carry this on into her teen years.
Im really starting to become short with her as her attitude is really hard to take.
Im really feeling utterly pissed off knowing whatever i say or do does not bother her.
She wants for nothing and has everything but if taken away she just things its ok because ill get it eventually......
How do i get out of this?