#6
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Do you have letters to back this up?
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#7
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yeah, my solicitor sends me copies of everything he sends to him so i have letters backing all this up x
Heart my 2 boys so much
#8
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I would be tempted to leave him to it then.
But do contact the child support agency!!!! Big Grin
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#9
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lol haha Big Grin
i spoke to them last week but get no joy from them.
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#10
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This sounds like my situation all over again!
I was in the same boat and cut contact after being messed about and not having much luck with the CSA. In hindsight now I know that cutting contact was my way of jolting him into a response but, yes, he used it against me and his family only saw his side. I went through solicitors to insist on regular contact or non at all and it was agreed by a court that at least once a month was in the childrens best interests.
If he keeps breaking the dates and messing about then you can request supervised contact where a third person is involved in a neutral surrounding to accept his visit. I didnt have to do this but considered it as my ex told people he didnt visit for the fear I would launch into a row with him (which i admit was commen due to the debts and mess he left me to deal with.. )
The CSA were slow and at times useless as he moved jobs and addresses 3 times within a year and made no effort to keep them or me informed. They have caught up with hi now as he settled down with his new girlfriend and her children.

Things still ar edgy and I have many issues with him, but my ex now sees the children at least once a month, not a regular arrangement as i intended and he still doesnt visit or make it to any hospital appointments.. so i leave that for his concience to deal with.
Long story short, the legal and open way is a good route, find out as much as you can as to his address and pass it all on to the CSA, even if he is claiming benefits they can take deductions! They will find him eventually and his arrears are building up!! The children will make their own mind up as they grow older and realise that you are the one who loves them and supports them in every way. I am sure, like me, you find it almost impossible to cope day to day and this just adds to the burden and feeling of abandonment... however you have to keep ploughing through and stay focused on your children. Sod him and his childish behaviour, he's only going to hurt himself and you are the one on control of this situation. If you feel he is a danger and the children will be affected by thngs such as drunkeness and erratic mood swings, then by all means cut contact.. but I agree with Daniel completley and you have to keep your chin up and be the Bigger Person. It sucks but you have to try and keep things as 'normal' and stress-less as possible for your own sake as well as your children.
I can sense you need a big hug and I hope this reply helps in some way. (((( HUGE HUGS 2U ))))
(plan a holiday for the you and the children, keep things to look forward too.. That helps me to stay positive :0)


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