#1
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well my ex now hasnt seen the boys for a number of weeks now and i spoke to him today n asked nicely wen he was cuming to see them again n his reply was he cant in the near future Angry but since we split last february, hes messed jake about since then for a few weeks hes there n then he doesnt come for a month or 2!!
i do have a solicitor but i want to give him a chance but how many more chances do i give him?
he never phones to see how the boys r, hes been invited to every appointment with charlie but doesnt come and doesnt come to hospital to see charlie or help with jake wen im in hospital with charlie Sad
jake now knocks on the window shouting his daddy every day n i dnt know what to say??
in my heart i want them to see there dad but hes cuming n going n thats just not fair on them?? do i stop contact???

any advice will b very much appriciated xx
Heart my 2 boys so much
#2
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(03-16-2010, 09:32 PM)becncharlie Wrote: well my ex now hasnt seen the boys for a number of weeks now and i spoke to him today n asked nicely wen he was cuming to see them again n his reply was he cant in the near future Angry but since we split last february, hes messed jake about since then for a few weeks hes there n then he doesnt come for a month or 2!!
i do have a solicitor but i want to give him a chance but how many more chances do i give him?
he never phones to see how the boys r, hes been invited to every appointment with charlie but doesnt come and doesnt come to hospital to see charlie or help with jake wen im in hospital with charlie Sad
jake now knocks on the window shouting his daddy every day n i dnt know what to say??
in my heart i want them to see there dad but hes cuming n going n thats just not fair on them?? do i stop contact???

any advice will b very much appriciated xx
I suggest a cautious approach.
Dont contact him now at all.
Approach the child support agency and look at payments from him and you will then hear from him,once you do hear from him make it very clear you are not blocking contact in anyway BUT YOU DO want to make it a proper arrangment through a solictor setting out times and days.
By doing this you are then saying that you will never stop him being a dad but because he has messed you around it needs to be more definate for the sake of the Children and the legal option gives them this.
The reason i suggest doing it this way is that if you just decide he is a waste of space which he does sound and you think hes not seeing them at some point he will turn it on you and make out you stopped the Children seeing him whereas doing it the legal route you will be able to tell your Children when they are older and ask questions that you did everything to encourage him to be involved.
You can only do so much but if you do it right your Children will realise for themselves what a waste of space he is.
Ive seen it so many times when things have not been done the legal route way and contact has been lost for many years and then the dad says it was the mums fault blah blah blah and then Dad is the best thing since sliced bread.
So i would advise having legal evidence to support you trying to arrange access.
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#3
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ive done that before were he had 2 agree what days were best for him and letters were sent to him to go to mediation with me to sort things out but he refused that and the csa say they cant get hold of him so cant go any further load of crap if u asked me Angry
i feel torn in 2 Sad
Heart my 2 boys so much
#4
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Who tried to arrange the mediation?
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#5
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my solicitor x
Heart my 2 boys so much


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