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Have you tried the Education Department at your local authority, in my local area there is something called 'Parent Partnership Service' who give free impartial advice on matters similar to yours. Alternatively I would suggest if you really aren't getting anywhere go to your local MP or at least threaten it with the school and see what happens.
Hope this helps
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Also to mention IPSEA who offer independent educational advice.
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My GP was the one I went to for help. My son was 7 when I went last year. I took a list with me and handed it over lol. He referred us without question and the consultant has taken everything I've told her as the total truth. The school weren't surprised at all that Id done this myself and not surprised in the least with his recent diagnosis of Aspergers and dyspraxia. He's been thought of as odd for years but no-one ever told me they thought he was "something". The school have since told me that its not their job to tell parents they think a child has something! My poor son has a rotten time at school and thats my next hurdle cos I don't think teachers have an iota of understanding when it comes to non visible disabilities. So my advice would be to go to your GP with a list if necessary ( I do this cos I get flustered n forget stuff) and take it from there. Unfortunately it does take time and lots of different appointments but it will be worth it.
As I said my next hurdle is school and what to do for the best as my son is very unhappy. Im trying to develop a thicker skin now n toughen up so that I can take on whatevers coming next.
Oh, and final word..see this forum as Im currently doing as a place where you can talk to people exactly like yourself and realise you're not alone. Some are at the beginning of the road like you and some are further along but hopefully we can all help each other. xx
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Have u asked the school for a referral? if yes have they given a reason why they havent done anything? its in the schools best interest to get a dx as that will give the school more funding. Also does your son have a social worker as they can help to get the referrals pushed through, they can also help with direct payments or respite as well instead of you using dla money to pay for someone to have your son while you get a break.
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we have had awful trouble trying to get Ben assessed and found within the nhs and education system where we live no-one really knows the right way. the way we went in the end was;
Gp referral to community child health specialist doctor
she then referred us to consultant paeds, ben had 2 assessments and we had a chat without ben there.
we also had a speech and language assessment at school.
SAL then consult with paeds and decide wether to push forward to clinical pysch (CAMH) for "testing".
In the meantime I have nagged school to seek behavioural support from county council which has helped us to persuade (!) the school for stat' assessment and also enabled school to get emergency funding for 5hrs extra 1-2-1 for Ben. So far this has taken me and hubby 2 and a half years!!!
Speak to your doctor/health visitor about getting on a NAS Earlybird or EarlyBird plus course. it's free and the NAS are wonderfully helpful and supportive. (hope you don't mind me name dropping the NAS?) and keep copies of every report ask every doctor for a copy and then if someone says ohw we need xyz to do it, you have it!!

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