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Please bare with the background here I do get to my question. :-)
My daughter, Bethany, is 7. She has Cerebral Palsy (mild) and has recently been diagnosed as ADHD. As a part of her CP she doesn't feel things in her feet or hands the way she should. She has learned to tell us when she is bleeding because she rarely feels the injury if it is minor. Also a result of this she didn't potty train until she was 5, (She pooped on the potty long before peeing because it took more effort and gave a more pronounced warning or sensation. -Sorry if TMI) and is still far from potty trained at night. I believe, and I can honestly say I have no medical backing for this, that by the time she feels the sensation that she needs to pee you are I would be crossing our legs running to the bathroom.
She does still have the occasional accident and it is usually if we are in a new place, if she is playing at a park/playground, on the computer at school, in the cafateria at school or if she gets in a manic mode where she laughs almost uncontrollably for a long period of time (something else I don't understand). Because of the times of the accidents I have always felt that she was just too focused on something else or too distracted by the commotion of say the cafateria and didn't notice the signals that she had to go.
We have had her checked by her Dr. last year at the request of her school to rule out medical issues. There are blocks of time (weeks) when she has more accidents.
The problem I am facing is her father (my ex-husband) and my current husband believe we should start punishing her for her accidents. :-( I understand she is 7 but I honestly don't think she can help it. I am being told by my ex and current husband that I am making excuses and being too easy on her that she has been potty trained for 2 years and can go several weeks without an accident that she has the ability and the control to prevent them. I am not afraid to hear I am wrong. I am not looking for everyone to agree with me. If you believe they are right PLEASE tell me. If punishing her would stop the accidents I would do it because I hate for her to be the girl in class that pees herself but I just don't want to punish her if she can not help it.

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