#1
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hi all our ds has asd and hes 7. we have a 3 yr old dd and im expectin a boy in 10wks time. since our ds has broken up from school for the summer holidays hes been out of control, now i know some people will say im being to harsh when i say that but i dont know any other way 2 describe it. he has become angry and aggressive which we had only just managed to get under control. he throws almighty temper tantrums if we dare say ''NO'' to him even over the smallest things. hes become very rude and will not listen to a word anyone says to him. i can now not take him out anywhere as his behaviour is out of control and i cant cope with it no more. today it got to the point that i said to myself i cant do this anymore i cant cope with him and i need someone to take over being his parent and yes i do feel really guilty feeling like this but im at my wits end. we have no support from anyone or anywhere. im exhausted this has been a nightmare pregnancy as im so so scared that our new son will have asd and i cant cope with 1 child havin asd let alone 2. i dont know what 2 do.
im back at the stage where i dont want 2 interact with my son anymore because of his behaviour. i do understand that his routine has changed and that hasnt helped but his behaviour is out of control. we went away for 4 days 2 the coast and he was a nightmare to the point i wanted 2 come home after the 1st day. i love him so so much hes my 1st born child and im so protective over him because i had bad post natal depression after i had him but i cant cope with his behaviour for the next 4 weeks ill go insane or ill walk out as somethin has gotta give. i know i sound selfish and i do feel sorry 4 our son as hes the 1 going through this as well but i dont know what else to do its 24/7 everyday pls any advice will b great Sad
#2
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hiya
have you been in touch with social services? they can offer emergency respite and give details of support available in your area. i know when matt was young i used to dread the big holidays and was even put on anti depressants as i hated the thought of spending all that time alone with him lol, strangely enough i miss him now when he isnt around and enjoy going out for meals with him and such!!! (would have laughed if anyone had ever told me that years ago) it does seem to be a trigger word with a lot of autistic children the word NO, we replaced it with "not today next time" or " you cant have that how about this instead" or phrases like that and he responded a lot better as a down and out NO was confusing for him as it wasnt explained and while we might understand that life isnt always yes autistic people dont always understand that. i know what i am trying to say but its not looking right in writing
you know i think we spend so much time feeling guilty about how upset or angry our Children are but 5 minutes after the tantrum they have forgotten about it while we build up our guilt every time it happens. i know the holidays are hard and the moods seem ten times worse because you arent getting a break from it but our Children are happy a lot more than they are unhappy they just make sure if they arent happy then nobody around them are either hehehe
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#3
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thankyou so much for being brave enough to be honest about how your feeling, belive me your not the only one! i dont think anyone could honestly say they havnt had times when they think "i just cant do this anymore" ive had a day like that today and its good to know im not the only one! but dont feel guilty, you may not like his behaviour or him maybe at this present time but you love him, and are doing your best, thats all us mums can do, Children are tough but even tougher when they have SEN or a disability.
my two year old is under investigation for ASD and i can totally relate when u say he gets out of control, its scary when my son does it, it likes they can be two diffrent ppl?? or arnt "them" anymore.
the most important thing id GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!! dont feel bad or guilty your pregnant (which is stressful in itself!!) you have a 3 year olf and a 7 year old with ASD!! thats more than enough to fill anyones plate, your allowed to have a bit of a melt down sometimes ur only human! and listen to corinne she makes mroe sense than me probly lol and has given me realli good advice in the past Smile
just take a step back, and try not to beat urself up about it hun x
#4
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thank u both 4 ur replies. im just findin it really hard at the moment we had just got him settled at school and then his routine is disrupted and its like u said im livin with jekel and hyde its like he has 2 sides 2 him. today has been a better day but hes still lost his temper over small thins and i tried say ''maybe not today'' instead of ''no'' but i just got ''well wen will i as u know i dont like suprises'' hes very advanced for his age they are now lookin at aspergers but do aspergers children have bad tempers and can be violent? i just dont want his viloent streak 2 come back as i was always the one who he was violent towards and i cant have that when im pregnant. im just feeling like a useless mum and i blame myself 4 him havin autism because of my severe post natal depression. just want 1 day thats all when hes like any other child i know he is but one day wen his autism doesnt play a part in his or our lives i know that sounds very selfish but its how i feel x
#5
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hugs, have you contacted your health vister to see if she knows of anyone that might be able to help you,


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