#6
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I can imagine it took alot of guts to be able to write this and i suppose this shows how much pressure you are under i can see you were almost hessitant in writing this maybe because you believed you would get critised for your feelings.
But dont worry we are not here to do any of this and our members are great at offering there support here.

Your family unit have gone through a great deal of upheaval and lack of security going forward is making you feel worse.
I wonder if this lack of security is making you feel adoption is the answer as in your head right now the adoption idea offers your son security you feel you cannot provide?

Believe me things maybe hard but they are workable and with the right support and help there are options for your family.

In terms of your wife how does she feel about the adoption idea is this an agreed thing you have both talked about or is it one you feel is the answer?

You are in a desperate place right now and i can sense your worries and i suppose being the "man of the house" you feel its upto you to fix the things that are ripping your family apart and help your wife and children but please dont think you should or have to go through this alone as there is support for you and your wife and your children.

If you need any help with anything inparticular such as getting any support packages in place let us know and we can all help.
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#7
Posts: 3 | Threads: 1
Joined: Jul 2011
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Daniel,
u are spot on with yr comments that is how i feel, one of the main things i need to consider is how louie being at home will affect the wifes recovery, as im pretty sure this cancer was brought on by stress, and dependin on how louie is and how she copes once im back to work will have a bearing on the decision we make.
We have a "team around the children" meetiing on the 30th but i wanted to know what options are before i go to this meeting as i dont want to ask for something thats not available.
we had thought of maybe louie going to a foster family for a year and we take louie from them, as and when like respite but not sure if this is available. One of our other reason behind this is because at the moment louie doesnt get as much attention as he need while we are looking after his brother so he may not develop as he should if he had 1 to 1 care ?
#8
Posts: 347 | Threads: 17
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They are both young children and they will bring each other on . Your oldest child will help bring on Louie . Unfortunately you may never know what has brought on your wife's cancer . All parents with special need children go through some of the feelings you are feeling at the moment and wonder how they will cope and what life will be like , but as a parent to even a 'normal ' child we don't know the answer's at times . I've 2 children , one who isnt special needs and most of the time I find her harder work than my son who has problems . Like your son he has development problems and other issues and when I 1st knew I found it hard to deal with but I couldnt think of what my life would be like now if I didnt have him . I'm due an other baby in 5 months and i've been told it could happen again even though they don't know what his problems are . Sometimes we get dealt a unfair hand in life but we come out stronger .


Don't mean this to sound out of term but you had said that it was twins that you's had and if nothing had went wrong with either of them and your wife still took cancer would you be feeling this way or is it just the add stress of your son having problems ?
Single mum to a 14year old daughter and a son who is 3years old who has severe learning disability , hypotonia , hypermobility , visual impaired and sensory issues , he has showed me the meaning of life Heart and 3rd baby due 2nd of January 2012


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