#1
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Hi, I am new to the forum and am the mother of a teenage daugther with global developmental delay.
Well, my question is...........those of you with teenage children that requite help with bathing, toileting and dressing, how do you cope with their care?
I am most interested in couples who share the care of their disabled child or single mothers or fathers who care for a child the opposite sex to themselves.
I am asking this as my husband plays a huge part in caring for our daughter, including bathing and dressing her if I am busy, giving me a much needed break! Today, I have been notified by social services (the first contact I have EVER had from them) that it is totally inappropriate that he does any personal care of her!
I am just wondering how single parents cope with the care of their children and if something were ever to happen to be, whereby I require a stay in hospital or something that were to take me away for a few days, that my daughter would then be taken into care as it would deem inappropriate that her father to care for her?!
Any opinions on this would be greatfully recieved
#2
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Hi,

I have an 18 year old daughter with Cerebral Palsy, learning difficulties, partially sighted and has epilepsy.She needs help with all her personal care. We share her care, but I do all the personal care for her and my husband does the feeding, makes her drinks (she loves tea). I have to say I have never thought about what would happen if I wasn't there to do it. I was in hospital once having surgery but she was only 4. I have to say that at 16 she started boarding at a residential college for the phsically disabled, only home at the weekends and holidays, so term time Monday to Friday we now get a break. I think if I wasn't here when she was we would be in the same situation to you as to who does help her?

Jools x

#3
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i have a son who is nearly 18 and while mark is the one that gives him his bath (Well sits outside while he is in there as he likes to be alone now) as far as social services are aware i am his main carer. i do help him get dressed every morning and when he is in respite most of the carers are female so no doubt have seen him naked (not got a problem with who sees him naked lol)
is your husband the father? (shouldnt make a difference but it might) i have never been told it was inapropriate for me to do anything for matt it has been him who has decided to be more of a daddys boy in last few years or i would still be doing everything. at the end of the day if he was a single father they wouldnt be able to take her away just because she doesnt have a mum. how does your daughter react to her dad looking after her?? that is the main issue, if she is happy then there shouldnt be an issue at all thats discriminating against fathers saying he cant look after his daughter
corinne
There comes a point in your life when you realize:Who matters,Who never did,Who won't anymore...And who always will..
So, don't worry about people from your past,there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
#4
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I've never heard of anything like this! My daughter is not quite a teenager at 11 but is very developed for her age and needs care for everything. My hubby isnt her father so I do all her personal care but if I've nipped out and she needs the loo he will do it or if I need help and shes undressed I just cover her so he cant see anything....she wouldnt care but he doesnt feel right about it.

Anyway she stays with her sister at her dads once a week, so he then does everything I do, toileting, dressing, cleaning if soiled, bathing if needed.....the only thing he doesnt do is she started her periods in Jan and she doesnt visit if its that time, as he feels a bit odd about it which I do understand. So could social services say she cant go see her dad as its inappropropriate for him to do these things???

Will I have this situation in the future with my son who has autism, that only his dad can care for him if he needs it?

It might be they overlook it when theres no choice if only one parent is with the child but if the parents are together they think it should be done by the same sex parent?

Proud mum of 3...... Dani,13, amazing child....Sofie,11, my smiler, physically disabled, 3 strokes aged 2, speech issues, learning difficulties, epilepsy.... and Luke,2, diagnosed with autism January 2011, non-verbal cheeky chappy.


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