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(05-05-2011, 04:26 PM)polomaplus3 Wrote: Sorry for only ever posting on here when things are tough Sad but I know lots of you here will understand. Things are really getting me down atm, again its all down to my bloody neighbours. Some of you will know the trouble I have had in the past with them regarding my eldest son Noah (ASD) and his OCD with throwing. Summer is fast approachong and the warm spell we have had latley has of course meant the Children wanting to be outside. This had led to Noah's "throwing" to rear its head again and I cant cope with the way I feel knowing that the are documenting EVERY object that ends up in their garden. I do everyting I can to make sure there isnt stuff lying around, BUT as those of you with Autistic children will know they are resourcefull to say the least!!
But seriously its no joking matter now, I feel as though my every move is being watched, esp now they have installed camera's to the front and rear of the house and logged a complaint with the HO (Housing association properties) I have a Parent Support Worker who has been fantastic and it truley disgusted that they just "Dont Get It" They dont seem to have any compassion or understanding out of all my neighbours they make me feel so rubbish.
I have managed to talk the HO into allowing me to put up some 6ft fencing in the key focus area but only on the stipulation that I have to go and explain to them what I am doing. They are NOT the most approachable family (even the schools head teacher agree's) So Im going to write a note instead!
Im basically worried about the trouble they could possibley cause me, to my tenancy etc
Even the HO didnt seem to understand the he doesnt do it to be malicious. Apparently they (neighbours) are concernd and seen any object as a potential "missile, No more so I say than their sons bloody football that I am forever retrieving/returning. Oh and I pretty much never see the items that he throws again as they seem to like to keep them to show the HO.

By the way this is the same neighbour that I have had to report to the police and the NSPCC due to his violent behaviour towards his OWN children. I also know the school have begun their own inquiry due to concerns seen in school. He beats them so hard I can hear it, uses such foul language, called his own son a retard! What chance of getting him to understand Noah's condition do I have.
All this on top of being a single mum to Noah and his sister and brother, Im at breaking point. I have become reclusive and withdrawn from everything
So sorry this is so long, I just typed as I thought xXx Thanks for reading xXx

(on a slightly more positive note Noah has been awarded the mobility element to his DLA)

Its been going on for to long and i can imagine its reached a head again as the weathers been nice and half term was upon us.
But its such a wrong situation in the sense that you and your family are doing nothing wrong.
The first thing i now URGE you to do is contact your housing and ask them about housing mediation this maybe a thing that could keep this civil and help next door understand your situation.

Next thing i want you to do is contact your occupational therapist and ask them for an assesment as the six foot fencing could possibly be funded as a discretionary funding basis.
Also you could consider the act foundation http://www.theactfoundation.co.uk/

However i would be tempted to suggest to make the council pay for the way they have treated your family like criminals Dodgy

If the mediation does not work then we need to look at the following things:

A) The CCTV you refer to does this record any images of your gardens front or back,even if only the slightest image then this is ILLEGAL.
Or even if the camera records on street this is illegal therefore there is possible action that could be taken here.

B)The stuff Noah throws over remind me do they return it?
Have they ever refused to return something?

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Thanks everyone for replying
I have tried using outdoor games to focus him to throw in a controlled manner but they always end up going over a fence as soon as he becomes bored/distracted/gets the urge! So atm there are no toys out there that he can physically pick up.
Daniel, I will mention mediation to my support worker as she "knows" my HO very well. I am under the impression that she doesnt fully understand my position either tbh (HO that is)
The fence panels are already here (arrived yesterday) thanks to my fantastic dad. I want them up asap to be honest and couldnt wait for the council to make a decision.
I will be writing a letter to the neighbours and cc the HO and my support worker (thanks for that idea)
The CCTV camera can be seen from my front door, its one of the black semi circular ones (so 180 view?) our front doors are feet apart (semi detatched) divided by the lower fence atm. They shouldnt be able to see anything once my new fence is up. It is quite likely that the path and road can be seen to.
9 times out of 10 none of the objects get returned. They seem to be keeping the more unusual items that he has thrown. If their Children are out than they usually pass things like toy cars/balls back but the parents never do.
This is going to sound really silly but I havent spoken to them for over 6 months now (maybe longer). Not since they first moved in and I first broached the subject with them and they failed to "get it". Its hard to describe but its just a feeling I get whenever I see them, they dont like us basically. Instead of comming to me they called the HA and reported him for antisocial behaviour. I just dont feel I am confident enough to face them.
All I want to do is be left alone to raise my family as best I can.
Heart Single Mummy to Noah (5) ASD, Abbigail (4) and Oliver (2) Heart

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