#1
Posts: 3 | Threads: 2
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 0

  • Registered
hi firstly im new so hello..
i need some possible advice re: my 6yr old son kian for years kian has been um challeging shell we say and recently has been getting worse my friend suggested aspergers which i googled along with adhd and he has characteristics of both.
luckily his school is very helpful and they were the first to point out kian problems as i believed it was just kian being kian to be honest all Children have there challeging times and i just thought it was normal even though my eldest wasnt like him when he was younger but every1 is different and the more i read on dirrerent conditions the more i feel my kian is a stranger and i dont seem to have noticed his behaviour as problems.
Where can i start he didnt speak till he was about 3ish and he has always had a vicious temper when he was young he used to headbutt the floor walls etc even when there was a giant lump he didnt seem to notice and would carry on i had to phsyically restrain him from around 7mths old and believe me i suffered for it numourous fat lips black eyes etc as he is unbelievable strong and still is he allways been a handfull but the past 2yrs it has come to my attention more he has no sense of fear at all at 1 point he was climbing out of his bedroon window on to the sill and into the other window it was the first floor and he was 4 at the time another incident was climbing into the roof space at school and walking along the ceiling lights he has repetedly walked into the rd and ran across asda carpark without looking he complains constantly about having to hold my hand but at least i know he is safe. reConfusedchool he is seriously behind in his education he is working at reception level at mo (he in yr 2) and they has big problems with his violence has repetedly hit he teachers and seriously hurt them but he has no sense of guilt or empathy or even consideration for other people i have a lot of services involved with school B.S.T there is a caf in place paperwork is being done for statement E.P have taken him on he being refered to speech and language and i fianally have child and family therapy involved after 2 other attempts (1 being told it was my parenting and i had to do a parenting course) after hearing what i had to say and explaining kians behaviour they are putting him to tier3 which apparently is good as i have been shouting at different services and been ignored to be honest as much as kian is very hard work i didnt realise how serious it was becoming i dont know maybe i was in denial and didnt want to feel more of a failure as a mum

i think i have rambled enough now but i wanted to know if anybody reading this has been down a similer rd and what there outcome was i dont know if kian has anything that can be "labeled" my gut as his mum knows there is something as it seems he has grown up but seems to be growing down again the older he gets the more immature he seems to be getting i really need some advice here if any1 has had a similar experiance and could tell me what it could be if any or anything i can start shouting about or get involved with him as its getting to a stage where its making me ill with all the stress of everyday life lol

thanks for reading and take care sorry for rambling on this the first time i have "spoke" to ppl i dont know about my situation xx
#2
Posts: 12 | Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2010
Reputation: 0

  • Registered
hello, sound like you need to get that out in the open.

raising children with special needs is exhausting and you need to take a step back and say to your self i'm doing a good job here.

Your son sound a lot like my son and i can understand how you are feeling. i thought i was going to have a complete breakdown when he was 6, things were just getting worse and worse. I had a really supportive school who helped me push towards getting him diagnosed.(he has ADHD and some signs of aspergers) but things slowly get better and you learn to understand ther reason for the behaviours.

You said your son has limited speech so that must be the main reason for his violent behaviour. its very difficult when children don't speak to be understood. Children with ADHD are typically 1/3 of their age behind. so at 6 he's functioning like a 4 year old. ANd he's got so much to deal with he's finding it hard to process all the information.

Although diagnosis will not be a magic wand that will sovle all your problem, sometimes it can help you to organise ans understand why he behaves they way he does.

I'd speack to the school about a referral to CAHMS and also visit your GP to and ask them to do the same.

hope this helps, remember your not alone. xx
#3
Posts: 1,853 | Threads: 41
Joined: Oct 2009
Reputation: 13

  • Administrators
Hi hun, it sounds like you've had a bit of a rough ride. We see camhs for our daughter who is 8, when first refered I actually myself thought she fitted the adhd profile but after spending time with camhs and having assessments in school it appears much deeper than that and they think she might possible have aspergers. Aparently its trickier in girls to diagnoses as, especially with emily, she's very clever and has learnt ways to cope with some of her social problems. Atleast your on the same page as the school! That's a positive thing as a lot of members struggle to get the school to acknowledge their problems which just adds to the battle Smile have you seen a paediatrician in the community at all? Recomending parenting classes seems like its always the first step, I felt like they were blaming me for my daughters behaviour but camhs have made me realise its not our fault and are trying to work with emily to recognise feelings and work on social relationships. The school are also now going to start a nurture group with some anger management and small group work Smile your defo not alone xx


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)