#6
Posts: 31 | Threads: 4
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 0

  • Registered
(01-09-2011, 10:26 AM)Raggiestars Wrote: I've just moved my eldest boy from his school even though he only has a couple of terms left before he starts secondry school for very similar problems. He has aspergers and was dignoised when he was nearly 8. With regards to school work he is very bright - reading age of a 12 year old and core skills in the range of 12 to 14 year old (he is only just 11) but socially he is a mess. He has no friends, he struggles with changes to rountines, overly sensitive to sounds - he has been bullied for the last couple of years in the school constantly - all classic aspergers but he has no other problems commonly found with aspergers - he is a well behaved little boy, very bright but social skills are a mystery to him.

Well to cut what could be a very long story short, when I went in a told his teacher that he wouldnt be going back there as I had moved him from the school to a school which has undertaken the Autistic Friendly school's training and I felt they had more experience with aspergers and would help him overcome some of his difficulities, access the help he needs and hopefully restore some of his confidenance as at the moment he is one shattered completely anxious little boy, his teacher responded with the following....

"Oh look I've told you before, with regards to aspergers your son is so far off the scale, I wouldnt worry about that, he behaves too well and is far too intelligent, he just needs to learn that his behaviour is unacceptable with his peers and he is just annoying them. Its his unacceptable behaviour that he has to learn is unacceptable"

I will never forget her words as it just reinforced to me that I had done the right thing in moving him as they have no idea what aspergers actually is and had completely failed my son. School has a duty not only to look out for a child's educational needs but also their social needs but this school is totally focused on academic achievement only.

I have had two meetings at this school with educational pschologist to discuss my son and each time the teachers havent really bothered to listen as they have the attutide that they dont believe anything is wrong with my son, he's just a naughty boy who cant play nice with other children (funny then that he plays lovely with children in infants about the age of 5/6years).

My advice to you would be to try and get the school on board but set a reasonable time limit for things to change and then stick to it, if you cant get the school on the same page as you with your child's need then I would definately consider looking for an alternative school - try asking around, look for a school that has experience and if possible recommended by other parent with a child whos needs are similar. You can always go through your GP, health visitor or the school nurse to request a educational pyscologist see your child. I ended up going through the school's nurse who referred by son to the school doctor who then referred onto camhs and the ed pys.

Keep your chin up - its unfortunate that its such a battle but you're not alone.

special Children only come to special peopleAngel
#7
Posts: 31 | Threads: 4
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 0

  • Registered
(01-27-2011, 04:39 PM)kellypip Wrote:
(01-09-2011, 10:26 AM)Raggiestars Wrote: I've just moved my eldest boy from his school even though he only has a couple of terms left before he starts secondry school for very similar problems. He has aspergers and was dignoised when he was nearly 8. With regards to school work he is very bright - reading age of a 12 year old and core skills in the range of 12 to 14 year old (he is only just 11) but socially he is a mess. He has no friends, he struggles with changes to rountines, overly sensitive to sounds - he has been bullied for the last couple of years in the school constantly - all classic aspergers but he has no other problems commonly found with aspergers - he is a well behaved little boy, very bright but social skills are a mystery to him.

Well to cut what could be a very long story short, when I went in a told his teacher that he wouldnt be going back there as I had moved him from the school to a school which has undertaken the Autistic Friendly school's training and I felt they had more experience with aspergers and would help him overcome some of his difficulities, access the help he needs and hopefully restore some of his confidenance as at the moment he is one shattered completely anxious little boy, his teacher responded with the following....

"Oh look I've told you before, with regards to aspergers your son is so far off the scale, I wouldnt worry about that, he behaves too well and is far too intelligent, he just needs to learn that his behaviour is unacceptable with his peers and he is just annoying them. Its his unacceptable behaviour that he has to learn is unacceptable"

I will never forget her words as it just reinforced to me that I had done the right thing in moving him as they have no idea what aspergers actually is and had completely failed my son. School has a duty not only to look out for a child's educational needs but also their social needs but this school is totally focused on academic achievement only.

I have had two meetings at this school with educational pschologist to discuss my son and each time the teachers havent really bothered to listen as they have the attutide that they dont believe anything is wrong with my son, he's just a naughty boy who cant play nice with other children (funny then that he plays lovely with children in infants about the age of 5/6years).

My advice to you would be to try and get the school on board but set a reasonable time limit for things to change and then stick to it, if you cant get the school on the same page as you with your child's need then I would definately consider looking for an alternative school - try asking around, look for a school that has experience and if possible recommended by other parent with a child whos needs are similar. You can always go through your GP, health visitor or the school nurse to request a educational pyscologist see your child. I ended up going through the school's nurse who referred by son to the school doctor who then referred onto camhs and the ed pys.

Keep your chin up - its unfortunate that its such a battle but you're not alone.
Hi i am sorry to come in on someone elses thread, but i was wondering which school you have now put your child in, i have a daughter who is 8 with aspergers, i am having a nightmare with her school, exactly the same.....achedemically she is doing really well, socially she struggles and the school will not take us seriously as she needs specialst help. She also is under chams and i am awaiting a phonecall back, i have considered moving her school (again) but can't seem to find one that has the experience with aspies, any help on the matter would be gratefully recieved, thanks x

special Children only come to special peopleAngel
#8
Posts: 111 | Threads: 11
Joined: Apr 2010
Reputation: 0

  • VIP
schools are failing everywhere! I am having major issues with Lucies Mainstrem schol! everything was fine until she went to year 4 and they decided that her ca was no longer needed and ended her co ntract. In October we went to Lucies parents evening and after 5 years of being told that lucie was top for english and maths and a very happy and contented little girl, we were given a list of how naughty and distracted Lucie was how appaling her handwrting is and why have we not done anything to improve it (i'm sorry i thought she went to school to learn, obviously not!) and that she was very naughty. I bit my tongue and just politley pointed out that Lucie has alot of worries with her hospital visits and ops coming up, and just happend to ask where Lucie sits in class. She sits in the back on the far left facing towards the right side of the classroom. I was so shocked as Lucie is deaf in her right ear and by sitting where she is her 'hearing' ear is facing a bloody window. i pointed this out as nicely as my gritted teeth would allow and the bloody teacher said 'oh i wasnt aware of that!!!!!' what the f**k! half her ear is missing and she didint happen to notice! I instantly took a dislike to her teacher, and have found her very difficult to talk to. She came out a couple of months ago and asked me why Lucie was always forbgetting her pe kit. I said that it was me that kept forgetting it and that i was sorry to then be told that at 8 Lucie is responsible for her own actions and should be remembering it herself! The icing on the cake to this was when to punish Lucie she put a sticker on her t shirt and made her wear it all day and it saidf 'i must remember to bring my pe kit on a monday and wednesday'. I went mental, especially as the class goes swimming on a monday and they refuse to take Lucie as she has a trachie and they cant justify the 3 memebers of staff they would have to take just for Lucie! I also have issues with them not suctioning Lucie, grabbing her in front of me and accusing her of lying! not amking sure she is wearing her vent, one day she didn;t have it on all day had no suctions and then needed an emergency tube change when we got home as her tube bacame blocked. I ahve raised these issues and loads more of little things that have upset me about her care with the head of the school and requested a meeting be held with me her dad and all the teachers involved in Lucies care so that we could discuss all our worries and find a solution so that we can try to regain our trust in them. They had the meeting without me! i have now had to take this matter to education as i now feel that Lucie is no longer safe at school and i cry most mornings when i drop her off and all i want to do is take her home. (this isn;t possible as i work or i would) and despite one of the teachers assuring me that they are giving Lucie the bast care i feel that they can no longer be trusted. I want to change her schools but as she has a statement this is a very difficult prceedure! I now have to wait for education to come to a meeting with me on the 14th March so that all these issues can be addressed and they have to be allowed to try and make things better before i am then allowed to make that decsion. And that is despite the fact that Lucie wrote me a letter whilst at school telling me that she wants to move school as the teeachers make her cry nearly every day and that there is a girl in her class who is bullying her.
#9
Posts: 34 | Threads: 15
Joined: Apr 2010
Reputation: 0

  • VIP
hi lucies mum,

i thought i had it bad with school but noway as bad as your daughter lucy does, its absolutly appaling reading what you wrote about her school even more so that she has a statement of education. i bet its such a worry for you all the time, espically when our children become victoms of bullies, know that 1 to well. i hope you get things sorted for lucy,

hugs xxx
#10
Posts: 19 | Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2010
Reputation: 0

  • Established member
My advice would be to force education into action and it seems the only way to do this is by pulling your child out from school. With what you have described, I wouldnt hestiate to refuse to send my child there. A statement means they have a legal requirement to meet your child's needs and clearly they are failing. And from my understanding, just because a school is on the statement doesnt mean you cant change the school. Education have to make sure your child gets a decent education, by refusing to send your child to that school you are making it clear that education have to intervine and more importantly that they have to act. Demand a place in a speical unit or school, or insist on a classroom support being reinstated and that your child will not go back until this is in place. Also that the class teacher be sent on training to learn about the different needs of your child as its clear she hasnt a clue. But at the end of the day if your child is asking to change school and you are not happy then please dont make the mistake I did and let it drag on as its your child that has to go there and be miserable for over six hours everyday.


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)