#1
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my son has so many lovely gifts from my family and friends - but has not looked at any of them let alone played with them! what do you give a child with restricted interests? he has everything he wants (several matching thomas the tank engines to line up!!) i have put a few toys aside to donate to our local salvation army - but it feels wrong?
also my husbands lack of understanding is so frustrating! (even though his own brother is an adult with aspergers!) he keeps saying the Children are too spoilt!!! grrr
it is putting a strain on christmas. i think the poor man has had enough of the children and cant wait to get back to work! is anyone else feeling the same?
#2
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Christmas has got so much better for our family but i has to face some unusual facts first. My son has autism and finds christmas very difficult as a young boy he is 15 now and is able to verbalise his fears, this has really helped. Every year my son would end up ill he had 2 christmas's in hospital as he made himself very ill with stress refusing to eat or drink, and basicly just stopped functioning. As he got older he told us not to buy anything new, please dont wrap anything up, how do i say thankyou for something i didnt want or ask for. please dont play christmas music, i dont like extra people for dinner ect the list has grown over the last few years. It may sound like a borring christmas to others but its much better than christmas in hospital. We start preparing our children for changes very early on we only buy what is asked for, we now wrap the presents and he puts them under the tree, this year he wanted posters on body parts and a new medical book as he is very interested inhow the body works. we played music in the kitchen only, and friends visted on christmas eve. He recived presents from friends and even things he never asked for and said thankyou. So every year i feel our son is trying harder to please everyone else. He doesnt usually use anything he never asked for but has learnt to say thankyou and not follow it on with but i didnt ask for that. lol. he use to make me feel embaressed by his rude remarks but now i understand more about how my son sees the world i couldnt be more proud of all his achivements they are so much harder for him than people without autism. All children work hard to behave and follow rules but children with ASD work even harder as they have to follow rules they dont even understand. Christmas is a strain for most but for my children life is so difficult following the rules of society they are looking forward to life getting back to normal as much as we are.
#3
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thank you! your wrtiting has brought tears to my eyes! your son is very special. you are so right, autistic Children have to try so much harder. poor edward has been so full of anxiety - he has not slept a whole night through. (boxing day he just did not go to sleep at all) we have got alot of years ahead of us as he is only 3!
#4
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I know how you feel. My eldest has aspergers and my husband just doesnt understand him at all and it makes things so tense and upsetting. And other family members dont seem to understand my boys needs either and so they buy them stuff (I also have a 5year with autisim) which is either so inappropriate or a waste. My eldest has his speical interest and anything else he isnt interested in. I remember two years ago he told my mother in law after opening his present,

"nanny dont waste your money on things like this for me next year as I wont play with it and its just a waste"

Honest yes but typical aspergers so blunt with no tack and differently no understanding of how or why my mother in law would be so upset by it. Ever since then they just think he is so ungrateful which is so not true and go on and on about it, he was just being honest but they dont understand at all. But at least now all they give him is money which is much better for him as he gets what he wants.

Then this year for my 5 year old who is more like a 2 year old in stage of development they brought him these dragon rider toys which are aimed at children over 6 years old! For starters he loves dinosaurs not dragons but we can get over that but these toys are far to old with small pieces its just plain dangerous so it will be another toy that has to given away. I just feel like I'm on my own most of the time with no support and people who should support you, you've explained their conditions and yet because they dont have to live with them they make no effort to try and understand. I just want to scream most of the time.
#5
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oh and we've had to tell family that we would be staying at home this year and not having family over as this upsets the boys. And its only because my eldest was able this year to tell us how he just wanted to stay at home and be just like everyday that we finally twigged how upsetting it was having all the changes to rountines. And having sat back and looked at things, our middle boy also doesnt like vistors to the house but because he has communication difficutlies he doesnt say anything but everytime someone visits he over overboard. Leaping all over them, getting behind them and kicking them in the back to get them off the sofa and it just turns into chaos and again it was our eldest who shed the light when I asked my husband why does he always behave like this when people visit? My eldest blurted out because he doesnt want them here, if I could I would kick them till they left too. I think having a child with aspergers and then a child with austim but with a big age gap is helping us to understand the difficulties they face more but its still a minefield.


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