#1
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Hi guys, just thought I'd bring you all up to date with what's been happening with our eldest emily. Had a referal to cahms a while back and have had a few appointments now with a lovely lady who we see regularly. She's mainly been seeing us without emily talking through techniques for certain types of behaviour and getting a full background of emilys history growing up...school etc.

So, she said she wanted to go and observe emily because aside from the problems we have with her, emily has a total inability to make and keep friends. She's very forward in going up to people and we never ever thought shed have problems in that department but its something I have noticed in the sense that she never gets birthday invites and is always complaining about other children picking on her. The school never seem to acknowledge a problem and tell emily to just deal with it etc.

Anyway so, cahms went in to observe her and we went for the follow up appointment last week. I have to say I was completely shocked by what she had to say! She said she doesn't normally see such a marked amount of rejection from other children but she went as far as to say he was quite profound. She said she found it difficult to keep up with her as she flits about a lot but even when she was aproaching groups of children, they weren't interested at all! She gave an example of at lunch she asked a group on a table if she could sit by them and they said no outrightly so she went and sat by herself on a separate table!! I could of cried for her. She said she also whitnessed bullying and that shhe has told the school they need to do more because she is suffering :'(

She said she can't put her finger on the exact problem but that emily clearly lacks something in her social skills but because she's clever educationally the school are ignoring it. Her reading etc levels are of an 11yr old!! Which I didn't know but she said she wants to spend some more time with emily on her own to try and figure out what her exact problems are. She also said that they can't rule out things like asd particularly aspergers because they are often more subtle in girls who are clever and learn coping mechanisms which it appears emily is in some aspects.

I'm shocked because I would never have thought that in a million yrs! I always thought it was maybe adhd and that her hyperness put Children off but obviously it appears to be more than that. Cahms said she's very adult like and that's probly another reason for socially struggling because she's at a different level to other children at shool and she might always suffer socially atleast until she's an adult and others have court up!!

Anyway, just needed to get that all out Smile thanx for reading guys xx
#2
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(12-22-2010, 02:18 PM)Lucy Wrote: Hi guys, just thought I'd bring you all up to date with what's been happening with our eldest emily. Had a referal to cahms a while back and have had a few appointments now with a lovely lady who we see regularly. She's mainly been seeing us without emily talking through techniques for certain types of behaviour and getting a full background of emilys history growing up...school etc.

So, she said she wanted to go and observe emily because aside from the problems we have with her, emily has a total inability to make and keep friends. She's very forward in going up to people and we never ever thought shed have problems in that department but its something I have noticed in the sense that she never gets birthday invites and is always complaining about other children picking on her. The school never seem to acknowledge a problem and tell emily to just deal with it etc.

Anyway so, cahms went in to observe her and we went for the follow up appointment last week. I have to say I was completely shocked by what she had to say! She said she doesn't normally see such a marked amount of rejection from other children but she went as far as to say he was quite profound. She said she found it difficult to keep up with her as she flits about a lot but even when she was aproaching groups of children, they weren't interested at all! She gave an example of at lunch she asked a group on a table if she could sit by them and they said no outrightly so she went and sat by herself on a separate table!! I could of cried for her. She said she also whitnessed bullying and that shhe has told the school they need to do more because she is suffering :'(

She said she can't put her finger on the exact problem but that emily clearly lacks something in her social skills but because she's clever educationally the school are ignoring it. Her reading etc levels are of an 11yr old!! Which I didn't know but she said she wants to spend some more time with emily on her own to try and figure out what her exact problems are. She also said that they can't rule out things like asd particularly aspergers because they are often more subtle in girls who are clever and learn coping mechanisms which it appears emily is in some aspects.

I'm shocked because I would never have thought that in a million yrs! I always thought it was maybe adhd and that her hyperness put Children off but obviously it appears to be more than that. Cahms said she's very adult like and that's probly another reason for socially struggling because she's at a different level to other children at shool and she might always suffer socially atleast until she's an adult and others have court up!!

Anyway, just needed to get that all out Smile thanx for reading guys xx

hi, ive read your post and i agree its very sad when a child is not fitting in and when adults at school do not help your daughters emotional needs. As you may remember i have 4 children my son has autism and my girls have social communiaction disorder. (this is on the spectrum) It is different in girls (unless they have autism) aspergers is harder to identfy but it seems Cahms are trying to help. the way you describe your daughter was very much how my oldest daughter is and was in mainstream school. It would be helpful if you could get a specialist speech and language therapist to see your daughter as they are involved in ASD diagnosis and it could be that your daughter has some language delay especially with the social use of language. Do your school offer talking partners its a programme that is used to help children talk with there peers and build friendships. I hope your daughter is happier at the moment with not having to be in school, although Christmas is a difficult time with my children they are more relaxed with no school. No more working extra hard just to try to fit in, and pretending they understand when they dont. Things do get better my older children are now in a very understanding school but the years of ingrained feeling of under achiving be it educational or emotional do have a severe effect on children, so i hope things get sorted quickly for you all.
This site has made me see things from a different angle, everyone has been so supportive of each other. Iwish everyone a merry christmas and best wishes and good health for 2011 xx
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Just read your post and I really hope you get it sorted out soon. Your story of how the other children treat her was heart-breaking. My son has autism and while he is only 4, we do worry about him not having friends as he gets older. I can't believe that the school haven't picked up on how the other children reject her as they are surely meant to look out for bullying etc.

Good luck with getting her the support she needs.
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I have a 15 year old son with Aspergers and is heartbreaking to know that the lovely person you know is rejected by their peers. My son is teased and used as a source of entertainment for others, often done in a clever way that the adults passing think they are socialising together and school does not believe me when I complain. Recently it got too much for him and he threatened to strangle someone for the first time ever, he got in trouble and I was told the other boy was upset by this not realising he was making S angry,they told me the boy is a lovely boy well liked and some members of staff were furious and my S is lucky that none of them got him first, they could have excluded him, and that this boy does charity work was chosen as one of 2 Children to go to South Africa etc etc.

The whole thing was disheartening, partly although my son is top in most subjects never gets chosen for anything, and it made it so obvious even staff have their favourites. I pointed out that he stands there on his own with mp3 and they approach him, but it seems he has no choice but to take every insult and keep quiet, he only threatened never touched the boy but after years of being called gay and eevry insult they can think of he has no support.

Schools need to open their eyes to what is happening to our young people, their self esteem is so precious and Children are getting cleverer at being subtle in their ways not to make it obvious. If someone observing in school can recognise why can't staff who are there every day see what is going on and ask why someone is eating alone.


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