#11
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Could you not take the time to do something nice for yourself when your ex comes to see the children ? I know its hard but you need your own time as well . Even a walk to the shops to look about . Then you wont not to deal with him either . You seem very strong minded on you dont want to get back with him even though thats what he would like , but thats good that you know you dont want to as it wouldnt be right for you or your Children , you are a very strong person in that way because some people would go back just for the sake out it x
Single mum to a 14year old daughter and a son who is 3years old who has severe learning disability , hypotonia , hypermobility , visual impaired and sensory issues , he has showed me the meaning of life Heart and 3rd baby due 2nd of January 2012
#12
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I'm really sorry you feel like this and I hope you feel better soon. In terms of feeling so low I think your doctor could help you and get you help from a counselor as others have said you might even need help dealing with the stress or it could be depression etc but the best person to help you is your GP. I know you might be embarrassed or not want to discuss it with the GP but they can help you and at the end of the day if you are upset your children will pick up on it and react to it.

The happier you are the happier the children will be so working on yourself is really important. I understand how hard it can be to be alone all the time as it is just myself and my son and there is no one else at all involved so it can be really stressful. Maybe try having a bath or listening to music if the children ever go to sleep which I know can seem like it will never happen, just try and take as much time as you can. As for your point in life, your point right now is to be a mum and I know it doesn't seem like it now but they will grow up and then you will be wondering why they are so quiet and why are you not running round like mad Big Grin. If you get things sorted you could try and start up some hobbies when the children are at school or play group etc you could do something to help you like swimming or something.

Is your ex good with the children, can he be trusted? If so then I think as others have suggested you could let him have the children at yours and you could go out even if just to have a coffee and a break or have a relaxing bath while you know they are being looked after. I would just continue to bug social services no one wants to give anyone money at the moment with the government trying to cut everything and I have had to keep on at them continuously but I think we are getting somewhere now so it pays to bug them until they give in, the GP could possibly help with this too as they have more oomph.

As for your ex I think you are really strong to leave him and stick to it and you need to remember the bad times and not get sucked into his world again. If you focus on the reasons you are not together it should help you remain strong and not go back to him. I wouldn't worry about meeting anyone else at the moment because you need to get yourself feeling better but when you are and if you meet someone if they care about you they will not care about your situation and they will embrace it. Lots of people are single parents now and it is becoming more and more common that new gfs or bfs take this as part of the relationship so I wouldn't worry about being alone forever because I doubt that will happen unless you want it too Big Grin

I really hope you feel better soon and if you need to moan at someone or just have a chit chat you can always pm me I am more then happy to try and help Big Grin xx
Will I EVER stop having to fight for my son to have what he NEEDS!? Huh
#13
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hi there, im very sorry to hear about how you are feeling, your social worker sounds just like mine-useless, im at the point of putting in a complaint, you must do too as having a useless social worker can get you down too, it does me! definatly try your gp as it may help, also i agree with giving councilling a go. speak to the school and see if they have any courses running at any point, i have done 2 at my sons school and met other parents in similar positions to me, i have sat and poured my heart out to them too and also found some very very good friends from it. please please remember you are not on your own with this, i think we have all been through stages of it and thats perfectly normal and understandable. if you had a good health visitor, it might be worth getting in touch with her to pick her brains, my health visitor still supports me and josh is 9 now. she often has great ideas and options for me to try, so that might be worth a go.
there is a short story out there somewhere called "welcome to holland" which i found amazing when i read it, its by emily perl kingsley and couldnt be more true!!
i hope things pick up for you soon
debbie.x.x.x.


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