#6
Posts: 3 | Threads: 1
Joined: Nov 2010
Reputation: 0

  • Registered
as previous answers, Direct Payments (changed our lives), see your GP - you may have a Child Development Centre in your local Health Trust who have Specialist Health Visitors who have access to all the useful things available to you. Also you may have a Childrens Disability Team with Social Worker who specialises in supporting Disabled children and their families. Take a deep breath and go for it girl. Stuff Him, he's obviously no use to you. Find help and keep in touch. I truly hope I can help.
#7
Posts: 347 | Threads: 17
Joined: Aug 2010
Reputation: 0

  • VIP
Hi cheekymonkey , i'm also a single parent with 2 children , a 14 year old daughter and my son who is 2years old and has complex problems . I can total relate to you and how you feel . There has been times when i've found it so hard to deal with my son and also the effect it had on my daughter when we found out my son had problems . Its sounds like your ex is using emotional black mail on you at the moment and this i think is why your feeling so low also xmas can be a very stressful and lonely time being on your own as well and having to deal with children is hard enough but with a child that has problems its very painful at times . I think you should go see your doctor and they will be able to give you something to help you out . That is the hardest part asking for help as you feel like a failure , but your not , sometimes we cant control how we feel . I had a terrible time from my ex and went on pills to help and it has. I remember asking my social worker for someone to help me out in the house to watch my son for even an hour so i could clean the house and he was a nightmare and wouldnt help with anything that i needed and good on you for putting in a complaint . Times do get hard so dont feel bad for the way you're feeling .Once you find out what is making you feel so low you do move on . Contact gingerbread or home start as they will be able to help you out with going out for days to give you a hand and keep you company . It can be lonely and dont feel ashamed to ask for some help , we all need help from time to time , good luck , but keep talking about how you feel , wishing you all the best x
Single mum to a 14year old daughter and a son who is 3years old who has severe learning disability , hypotonia , hypermobility , visual impaired and sensory issues , he has showed me the meaning of life Heart and 3rd baby due 2nd of January 2012
#8
Posts: 1,853 | Threads: 41
Joined: Oct 2009
Reputation: 13

  • Administrators
homestart have been fantastic for us, they run a disability support group so we have got to meat other people who also have disabled children and its nice to be able to sit once a week and chat about the things that are normal to other or the propblems we are having. cahms is also a good one as i know our cahms worker also runs a separate group just for families with autistic children, their might be something similar in your area!? getting out will help and i know it is tough thats why finding places to go with families that are similar helps. homestart also come out to the home just for chats and support so maybe theyre a good first call.

its really tough and you shouldnt feel bad for feeling the way you do because you cant help it! in regard to your social worker, i would go over her head and speak to her manager. tell them you want a core assessment done with regard to direct payments/respite because you are struggling and need support from them! its your right!

i really hope you get something sorted soon. i know how isolating it can feel to feel alone Sad but we're always here when you need a chat Smile

xx
#9
Posts: 11 | Threads: 3
Joined: Mar 2010
Reputation: 0

  • Registered
Thank you so much everyone it is so nice to hear from you all. I can't remember what all of you have said now LOL . As regard to my ex he does help out but he has to have the children at my house as he is living with his dad at the moment and my autistic son will not go there becuase he has a dog and parrot and is terrified of them. So my ex is always in my home which makes it difficult because we usually end up arguing or he gets on at me becuase he didn't want the split and is finding it hard to accept. My social worker is from the children with disabilities team but there are already complaints off other people in about her so it not jst me she like this with thats why i have complained, she always cancelling appointments, she even rang half an hour before a review meeting to say she cudn't make it, i had waited 6 months for that meeting and i told her straight i wasn't happy. School rang her and she made the meeting in the end, so it can't have been that urgent why she wanted to cancel. She gets defensive when you mention direct payments and says i have to try all the behavioural techniques i am working on with a CAPPS worker, but i tell her that my issue is for example: getting hot tea out of oven both boys come barging through kitchen door have a major fight, i got oven gloves on holding a hot tea and they are bargeing into me. I said if i had direct payments i could have someone with me at these difficult times of day.

I have heard of CAMHS and know we have one but don't really know what they do and no one has ever mentioned them to me.

Sorry if i have forgotton anything people have asked, but thanks again for all your support Smile x
#10
Posts: 347 | Threads: 17
Joined: Aug 2010
Reputation: 0

  • VIP
I've volunteered for homestart and will have my 1st family just after the new year . I know how it was trying to get support and i'm now at a place that i know i can help out other people . There should be one near you and as Lucy said they do come to the house and also we can take people out , even to get shopping in and to the park , what ever it is you'd like help with . Dont feel alone and feel bad for they way your feeling at the moment , I'm sure most have felt the same at times , I know i have
Single mum to a 14year old daughter and a son who is 3years old who has severe learning disability , hypotonia , hypermobility , visual impaired and sensory issues , he has showed me the meaning of life Heart and 3rd baby due 2nd of January 2012


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)