#1
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as i have posted before about my 6 year old son reece, who should be getting diagnosed with ASD soon as well has having a whole load of behavioural, emotional, speech and language, developmental delay problems. about the problems within school even though he is on a band statement.

last year (reception year) was great in the way of support for reece and me. the reassurance was there that although progress was slow he was extremly happy and enjoying school. he was supervised at breaks and dinners. and they funded it, now he has a statement and god knows whats happening. he has lost everything they put in place and was moved along with the children classed as the bottom group of the class. no supervision at breaks and dinner. it took me a lot of pestering to get to the bottom of all the finger pointing between the teacher and the senco. reece is really suffering and his behaviour at home is unmanageable and dangerous. takes me hours after school to calm him down from nasty and aggressive.

so for a long time now i havent been happy, then theres all the people at school who say things 'off the record'. and the united front of 'i cant tell you anything. i have had to make a pest of myself just to get any information. lately i have been trying to pin down whether someone is to be watching him at breaks, guess what noone can tell me anything but they will pass the message on. but it never comes to anything, the latest in the long line of incidents where children are hitting my son sometimes they are getting into groups.

today i have left a letter of complaint to the headteacher, saying im not happy and the details. saying other than me pestering there is no communication and then its 'i cant tell you anything' which is the united front of the school. i have also stated that i wont be saying im happy in the review. i havent recieved any phone calls although ive asked not to be contacted and will just leave it up to the parent partnership to deal with as i have a meeting with them on thursday. after today i will be keeping him off as they break up for christmas friday anyway. i dont know what else im supposed to do anyway. plus unless im going to take a stand it seem silly to be giving out this kind of advice to others if im not going to do it myself.
#2
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The school really sounds like they are not communicating with each other let alone you, seen as they're all saying different things. I've always said if it came to it with euan i would home tutor him but its very difficult to come to a decision like that, at the end of the day, school is a form of respite for you. When is the review again? and have the school decided what their stance will be? ie do they want him to stay? or go to a special schoo? Its very difficult and its so frustrating because everything takes so much time, everyone has to ask someone else, i bet you just feel like screaming 'will someone just make a bloody decision' - i know i do. To be fair, we have been lucky, as yet, with euans school and i am hoping they are true to their word and support him as they've said once he starts.

I think the first step for you would be maybe to take a step back (as you said its the holidays) , then go over everything from an outside perspective, look at all that has happened/been said and see what you can decifer from it all. Then, start preparing for his review, know what you want and look up what you need to do to get it, speak with his paed aswell - not just about a diagnosis but schooling aswell (although im unsure how much they may know). Speak to the lea direct about your concers if you need to aswell.

If theres anything you want me to look up in regards to rights in law or loopholes for anything, even their obligation in regards to education - whatever really just let us know.

Lucy xx
#3
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i couldnt tell you what the schools stance is going to be as at first it was 'theres a huge problem and the school isnt doing him any good and letting him down big time' to 'oh we wasnt allowed to say that to you so let that be between me and you' to 'i cant tell you that and im not supposed to say and i could lose my job'.

i keep being told that playtime supervision should come as standard (now i make him sound like a new car) but it hasnt for reece. another child has it and hes not even special needs he just plays up for attention ive been told(this is the boy who hit reece yesterday). a dinner lady whose children who also go to that school spoke to me this morning in confidence that the fact he isnt being watched and is being hit by children daily is upsetting her greatly. i just want him out of that school, the previous good relationship i had with them they have ruined by refusing to discuss anything with me. i havent even been included on anything about his learning, i was last year. if they are so busy that they cant cope with him then let him go to a place where they can look after him. i suppose in the review cards will be laid on the table, i have been asked to fill in a form for school giving details of what i think about his past year and the upcoming future - and i just cant bring myself to fill it in as i might actually put how i really feel on it
#4
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Write down exactly how you feel.
Do not hold back and try and cover up any frustrations.
Keep it clean and factual and tell them each and every issue its the only way they can improve.
If you dont tell them they can improve it.
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#5
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try writting it separate first and then fill the form in, so you can jiggle about with the wording etc

xx


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