#11
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thank all for your support i have spoken to the Macmillan nurse today on the phone and have a meeting tomorrow about his care and lots of trouble with family we have a big one 5 brothers and two sister and am having trouble talking to them over different stuff , you see i am the one who looked after mum and still look after dad! dad does not know even though he was there due to the fact he is deaf, but he knows he is very illSad we have a spilt decision over weather to tell him he as cancer.

sorry putting it on here but i have no one to talk tooSad
#12
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Oh sweetie what a tough decision you have. Its awfull that your having to be the one to make it, only you know your dad best and how he would take it, I think personally I would probably tell my dad, he's quite a strong character and I know he would want to know so I suppose you need to think from his point and whether you think he could handle it or not Sad Sad Sad life really sucks at times xxxx
#13
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i'm sure the macmillan nurses can help you with this. From a medical point of view he has a right to know. If you ask him if he wants to know and he says no that's fine, but if not he has the right to be fully involved with his care if that's his wish. I know it's a difficult convo to have, but i really would try and have a proper chat about it.
the other thing to think about is whether it's worth any of you getting a enduring power of attorney to allow you to be responsible for his care if he isn't in a position to do so. Technically without this legal position then none of you would have any right to make any decisions regarding your dads care ( in law).
i don't want to add more problems on you than you already have, but it may help down the line.
if you want a chat - do yo uhave my number?
#14
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well nurse asked him today what he knows and if he wants to know every thing , he says no he dont want to know, but we are sure he knows just dont want to say it out loud!! so its up to him but he knows he is in heart failure already and as lots of coal dust on his lungs , so we leaving it at that for now. no i have not got your number Nathard.
#15
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I think your right hun, he probably does know he just probably either doesn't want to talk about it because he doesn't want to think about it or he might not want to feel like he's burdening anyone else with it. I suppose it could also be abit of denial and not wanting to face it directly. Either way he's probably dealing with it inwardly himself.

What did the nurses have to say in regards to care he'll need or services they offer?? I bet its still sinking in isn't it. How's every1 else taking it?? Xx


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