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do everything everyone above has described, also get in touch with social services, they should be able to help with childcare and i think you'll find they are actually better with dealing with emergency situations (which you impending job loss would cause) than they are anything else. they arranged childcare for my older son when my youngest was last hospitalised, in a couple of days....im sure they may also be able to help you 'deal' with your ex partner.
its always great to hear of dads going above and beyond the norm and there seem to be a few of them on this site, it restores my faith a little every time i do. it definitely sounds as though you are doing everything you can for your children and in return you should be getting the financial help avaliable not their mother.
good luck
carrie x
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You also need to contact child benefit (CB) and notify them you have your son living with you full time. The problem with claiming any benefits in respect of your son is you will need to have your CB number, but don't let that put you off - if you are caring for him you are legally entitled to the money. Claiming the CB can take time, as they will need to write to your ex to clarify the situation. With CB it can take upto 12 weeks but once you are in receipt of it (mainly the CB number) you may be able to claim housing benefit and other state entitlements.

From a Social services prospective call your local Children’s Services (CS) and make a referral as soon as possible, stating your situation and your need of assistance.
Does your son have a CAF (Common Assessment Framework) in place?
If he does you maybe able to get some money to pay for childcare through DCATCH given it has now been rolled out nationally; or funding through the Aiming Higher Budget to pay for childcare / respite while CS are undertaking an assessment.

If CS do not to undertake an assessment (which they can do) respond by voicing your concerns about the lack of intervention and possible family breakdown or by making a complaint the Local Authorities Complaints officer (that normally gets the ball rolling) or going to your local MP

In respect of your employment they have to take into account of your change in circumstances given you are now a carer; this is backed up by Carers (Recognition & Services) Act 95 and Carers (Equal opportunities) Act 04.

If you have a local Carers Centre, register yourself as his carer and get them to undertake a carer’s assessment

Good luck and don’t be disheartened
Good Friends are like stars;

You don't often see them ...
... but you know they're always there

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