#1
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Hi, this is my first time on a forum of any kind and probably the first time I have put myself "out there" to discuss my 3 year old son and his special needs in this way.

I am pleased to find an online support group like this and sincerely hope that i can get some support.

A short run down on my little boy.
He is now 3 years old and has speech delay and developmental delay in most things, however he has not been diagnosed with anything (although he has seen quiet few development paediatric specialists/ neurologists ect).
The only diagnosis we have is idiopathic epilepsy which started at 8 months and after about 11 months of some drastic measures in medications it has now been under control for about 2 years.
My son can walk and has a fairly good level of comprehension but learning new things is very difficult for him!
We have tried makaton sign language but his fine motor skills let him down in signing and we are trying to use pext but that is touch and go.

My latest issue is 'when to toilet train'?
I know under the so called 'normal range' it usually is happening or happened by 3, but I am struggling to see if now is the right time.Blush

I have done some research on the internet but i come back to the same problem "he simply can't tell me if he needs to go"?
I have discussed this with my husband who is a great support but we are just a bit unsure on what to do for the best.
I have tried asking friends and our health visitor.
Can anybody help me or offer any advice or some of their stories with toilet training their little boys with special needs.

Thank you ever so much for listening.
#2
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Hi Sarah,

I have never actually toilet trained a child yet so I am probably not the best person to answer. However, I am in a similar situation to yourself.
My little boy was 4 a few weeks ago and is still in nappies. He is developmentally delayed too and has little speech.

They usually say to wait until you see the signs that the child is ready. There is some good info on netmums about this - http://www.netmums.com/preschooler/Potty_training.1076/

My son does not show any of these signs but I was getting myself into such a state about the whole thing. Everyone else seemed to have their child out of nappies by the time they hit two at the very latest. I felt like I must be failing him in some way and was a bad parent.

I had him checked over by his paed. just to be sure there wasn't any reason for not being ready which I was not aware of. Everyone who worked with him was of the firm opinion that he is absolutely fine. He is just behind because of his delays and he will one day do it in his own good time.

In the meantime, I took him to the shop to buy a toilet seat for him. He has never seen anyone use a potty, all the Children at nursery use the toilet, so I thought it pointless trying to make him sit on one.

When he gets up in the morning he likes to use his seat to sit on the toilet, it makes him feel very grown up. He has never actually done anything whilst sitting on the toilet and only stays there a few seconds. But at least he is becoming comfortable with it.

Did you know you may be entitled to get your son's nappies free? Your Health Visitor needs to do an assessment but it all pretty straight forward.

When you say your son can't tell you, do you mean he doesn't know himself when he needs the toilet or that he can't say it? If the makaton isn't working then how about a visual prompt. This could be a picture or it could be an object that he brings to you.
Dodgy
#3
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Hi, my son has similar problems but it is also made more complex by the fact his kidneys do not work properly so he wees TONES. I also got myself into a panic worrying but after speaking to his specialist, she told me she never knew anyone with cystinosis be potty trained before 3. I can get him to wee on the potty but he thinks its a game and as he has a speech/development delay he doesn't understand fully what I am trying to teach him. I know he will get there in time so I am just relaxed about it for now. I worried about school but they are fine with it especially as it is due to a development/medical problem!
Dawn, is it 3 that the nappies become free? at the minute I get through atleast 10 a day (including liner pads at night) so as you can imagine it is costing me a FORTUNE! lol
Luce xx
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nappys dont come free in my area until they reach 7, my daughter is 3 1/2 years old (not the same as potty training a boy i know) - she sometime doesnt know she needs to go, and cant tell me she needs to go either (autistic with little speech). i have an older son with autism and adhd - he was easier to learn to use the potty as his commuincations skills were far better at that age.

they both have had the potty from mothercare - the one with the very high back its like a seat. they do a normal white one, a blue thomas one and a pink fifi one. its better when they have problems getting up and down as my daughter was clumsy at getting on a small one. my daughter mostly justs pees down her legs and doesnt even stop or look down. but sometimes she shows signs but you would have to be watching her. then its a race to get her on the potty, loads of jumping around after and clapping. but then the days after having a good day where she has used it a few times with my help - she then wont go on it and has a meltdown at just the sight of it, she throws it around the room.

so now if shes calm, i will leave her with her nappy off and watch her. but mostly she wont go on the potty. so the only thing i can suggest is you try the potty and watch for him weeing then rush him on the potty. i asked my doctor should i have had her potty trained by now as my mum and dad were on at me over it - but if she doesnt know shes going how can we do it?? she said dont even try until she has some idea shes having a wee or you will start off a behaviour problem (which in a way i have because some days she wont tolerate it at all and i just move it out the way). if you think your child isnt ready wait a few months, or buy a potty and give it a try. your partner will have to show him what to do which should be funny. come back and let us know how its going, but be careful my son started to pee in everything including toys, bowls and cups, cats food bowl and even its litter tray.
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(11-04-2009, 06:25 PM)Lucy Wrote: Dawn, is it 3 that the nappies become free? at the minute I get through at least 10 a day (including liner pads at night) so as you can imagine it is costing me a FORTUNE! lol

I live in Newcastle and for us it is age 3. I just gave the Health visitor a ring and told her what I wanted. She came down and filled in the forms and the following week we had a delivery. We are only actually entitled to 4 free nappies a day. We get a delivery of pampers every 12 weeks. Toward the end of that time we do end up having to buy our own to tide us over till the next delivery comes.
It's worth asking though if you may be entitled to more due to the kidney problems.
Dodgy


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