#1
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sorry if this thread offends anyone or makes any one feel sad, i really need to know what other parents feel there children with ASD mental age is compared to actual age.

at the moment im about to argue with the school that my son is only mentally 3 years old (with lots of evidence to back it up report assesments and observations) when his age will be 6 years old next month, i wish for them to teach him as a 3 - 4 year old as everythig they have in place now is failing him. am i being far fetched in this being one of my main points of argument?? he has autism and adhd (undiagnosed as of yet) emotional and behaviour difficulties, speech and lanuage delay, only basic personal skills and loads of other problems.
#2
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Hi becki, i know that at special schools they will teach your child at whatever level they are. A lady i know who's son is severly autistic was telling me about the targets they set for her son to try and reach. She said there would be no point in them saying 'by the end of this school year he will be able to say 10 words' because its just not possible, so they are more likely to be things like 'he will hold a fork for 10 seconds un aided' and so on.....I don't see why this would not be possible mainstream but I'm not really an expert. From what you have said though, I do think you would be wise to consider all your options including other schools, weather they like it or not he is your son. Perhaps you could contact the LEA direct!?

Lucy xx
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a family support worker is coming to our house on monday morning, she was great on the phone and she is even taking me to my first rainbow shine meeting (which is our local parents of autistic children meeting) next month. i just feel like saying ive had enough and i think to myself that what if i had a mental break because the stress is enough to cause it. my partner has adhd and he cant cope with the Children very much and nearly all of the day and night is up to me, my family are useless and dont believe me nevermind offer any help, my patners family couldnt wait to disown us the second i started the assesments for asd.

so im not being far fetched in asking for him to be taught at his mental age, i dont think mainstream can offer him what he needs and i feel like im going to have to turn nasty just to get him moved. ive had a good relationship with his teachers and keyworker in the past, but even with all the play he had last year he still found it really hard. his sen officer was acting like even his autism was new to her. maybe his teacher should have been doing something earlier but i think she has been really understanding of him and good for him. but even with all this his mental age not progressing and with the lost skills that to me says enough is enough.
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Becky, your post could not offend anyone or make anyone sad, you have my total sympathy. It's not surprising you feel as you do, trying to cope with a disabled child with a complete lack of support from everyone around you is dreadful (I'd like to make it clear I'm not having a go at your partner though). Poor you {{hugs}}.

How far is your son through his assessment of ASD? Have you ever tried for a statement? If so what happened? I'm assuming he has School Action in place?

It's unfortunate but true that mainstream schools have targets to meet and have to follow the school curriculum rigidly to meet those targets, and special needs Children, in my opinion, just don't get enough of the right help because of this. Lucy is bang on the money - I cannot advocate Special Schools enough. Children's targets are based on their abilities and needs rather than the curriculum.

You are right to be concerned, you are his parent and you know your son best. If he is making no progress then something is wrong and he is not getting the correct teaching for his needs.

Please post again and let us know the few questions I have asked.

Best wishes Maggie x
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I find especially the special schools specialising in ASD are brilliant! In my area they are the experts and its them that run the earlybird courses etc. My son was lucky enough to go into their reception class last year as part of their outreach program (although he has now gone to mainstream because he didnt get a full statement & this school are now saying he needs extra help - its a long story). I'm still in touch with some friends who did get in though and everything is really tailored to their needs eg they are reading junior school level books in reception because they can read but get lots of other help with all the things where they are behind which is ideal. That is also true for my son he's well above his age in lots of the academic things but very behind with the social, behavioural, communication, self help etc.
Sorry I forgot the point of what I was going to say there - not getting enough sleep obviously. I would say my son is definately behind my 18 month old in a lot of the areas.


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