#1
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I wondered if anyone could help me to find some useful advice for my 14 year old. He's never had a particularly good time making friends. In the early years he would select one 'special' friend and stick to them like glue (aged 3/4/5). He then went for years just getting himself into trouble with friendships. Children and parents didn't warn to him because of his inability to conform to the social norms.

On arrival at secondary school he again made a 'special' friend but things quickly went downhill. The friend had issues too and when they fell out the friend caused lots of problems for my son - turning people against him which eventually led to my son refusing to go to school. Eventually he managed to find a group of friends. Then the ex 'special friend' muscled in and engineered a big falling out which led to my son refusing to go to school once more. We got him back and he seemed okay with some other boys.

On Thursday he spent the day with these boys. They were out and about and the boys ran off from my son. My son phoned them and they said they were in Morrisons. He went there and phoned them again - they basically led him on a wild goose chase until he finally gave in and came to find me. I was furious with them for being so cruel and told my son that they weren't 'real friends' - should I have done this? He was trying to blame just one but I pointed out that all of them joined in.

He's now really angry and threatening to cause lots of trouble when he gets back to school (noooooo, I can't go there again). I'm trying to calm him but can't think of anything useful to say.

For the record, I think I have traits of aspergers too and find it very hard to understand what is going on and how to overcome it. I do know that thumping them or causing trouble for them is not the way forward but what can I say to make him feel better?

Any advice gratefully received.
#2
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omg thats really sad.I too have experienced that with my son,he is 17,with adhd,conducyt disorder and now being assesed for aspergis.It is hard for them to keep friends.My son has little quality of life.He spends most of his time with me or on the computer.How old is ur son?
#3
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He's 14 and has a diagnosis for aspergers. He's asking me to drop him off for an hour so that he can 'sort' things. Of course I won't do that because he'll just get himself into trouble but what can I say to him that will make him feel better?
#4
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It dawned on me that I need to concentrate on helping him to maintain what little confidence he has got, so I need to give him plenty of positive affirmations and a friend has just advised me to only make short dismissive comments about the behaviour of the others (rather than allow myself to dwell on it, which is what I have done). This sounds like good advice to me.
#5
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It sounds like a plan! Is their any groups locally he can join with people he might have a common interest in? If it was a computer club or some such thing they may be less boisterous and have a calming affect ( well we can live in hope can't we?)

I'm dreading when Ben gets to this age. Children can be so cruel to him already and thats without teenage hormones! Hugs xx


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