#6
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We are now trying for a second child after having Zack who is now nearly 13 months old. I did question whether I wanted to have a child of our own after the bad time I had having Zack. But I always knew that I wanted more than one child. I don't worry that it will be hard going or that it will take away my time from Zack I look at how having a sibling could benefit Zack and our family, adding richness to the mix I suppose. I am really excited about another child and praying we are lucky enough to be blessed with another baby. Here's hoping. x
#7
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i have 3 boys and they all are special needs, im saying no way is it easy, i get a lot of help from my mother in law, dont no what i would do without her as i dont drive and she takes me to all appointments etc and gives me a break from the oldest 2, but in a way my life is normal, i dont have a child that is 'normal' so i dont know any different. its harder now my 2 youngest are 3 and 5 because they dont get on, my 2 year old his always hitting my 5 year old and my 5 year old as very little understanding and hates rough play so they is always tears if left alone but like i said we all dont know any different and we just get on with it, people say to me i have my hands full n how do you cope but we just do and we do have lots of good times which is what you ahve to remember! i wouldnt change my life for any thing or anyone although i do wish life could be easyer for my boys! x
#8
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We have 3 children, emily 7, euan 3 and alfie 8months. Euan has a rare genetic disorder called cystinosis and we have a 1 in 4 chance of any of our children having it so it was a hard decision to make knowing there is a very real possibility that you will have another disabled child! Its tough going at times, i think i found being pregnant hard going as i felt terrible having to get up frequently in the night with euan and having bad morning sickness plus still carrying him around whilst hevily pregnant but it is very much worth it!!! we were lucky in that alfie does not have cystinosis, i concidered genetic testing while pregnant but we were told i wouldnt get the results till i was 18/19 weeks and i felt that for me personally would be too difficult to terminate at that later stage altho i can totally understand why people do. I felt mentally i could cope but even after alfie was born it was very tough, i'm not sure how well i would of done had he been disabled too but i'll never know, altho i would of loved him all the same! we always said we wanted 4 but i know i couldnt cope with another any time soon. It is hard on everyone and its non stop but they all have fun it just takes ALOT more planning to do anything as a family and holidays are difficult too. I think you'll know when your ready, i think my next and final one will probably be once the younger 2 are at school full time so that a)i have time to rest in pregnancy and b) so i have the time to dedicate fully. I feel a bit bad on little alfie at times as he probably gets the least attention out of all of them....euan starts nursery after the hols part time so i'm looking forward to having that time with him Smile

xx
#9
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can finally write a proper reply as i havent got bradley hanging over my shoulder

like i said in last one i had a termination well it was more complicated, i freaked out at 9weeks and went there but when i got there the scan showed my baby hadnt grown in 3weeks 3days and the heartbeat had almost stopped.
i had a choice of miscarriage normally or go ahead (sorry if i upset anyone)

after all of that i would love another baby but i feel like i need time for things to improve with jack and make bradley not feel so left out.
bradley sometimes resents jack, i spend far to much time with jack but its hard when he needs so much extra help but feel like i have to put bradley on sidelines a little

hopefully oneday when we are settled have a reasonable income, nice home and things are easier with jack we will have another

dont think id cope with jack and being heavly pregnant at moment as with all past pregnancies ive spent 70%time in hospital also classed as high risk
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#10
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An excellent discussion here Smile
I remember before we tried for Alfie i discussed it with a few people and these were the following:

1)Euans specialist- Who made us feel like we were doing the wrong thing and told us how bad it would be to bring another child with the same condition into the world (Made us feel great NOT)

2)Other families of children with the conditon and i could simply say it was a TABOO subject and nobody wanted to talk about it at all.

We did feel very alone and then the family started............. Bla Blah Blah Bla Blah Blah Bla Blah Blah
Its so unfair Bla Blah Blah and its not right Bla Blah Blah
And as Lucy said we would love another one in a few years and no doubt we will get the same response Bla Blah Blah because in a society where we are adults are meant to make adult choices we only have somebody else in our ear saying Bla Blah Blah and you know what i say DONT LISTEN TO THEM.
Dont let your childs special needs come in between you and your hopes because we love our special needs child regardless and its your personal choice at all times to make and nobody elses.
As Linzi said we also thought of what a sibling could offer Euan in terms of a freind and someone to relate to and talk to as they grow together and i dont regret it for one moment.

I quickly learnt to take it in one ear and let it out the other.
So whos next on the baby delivery? Big Grin
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