#1
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Hi everyone, I just wondered whether anyone would like to share their experiences? I only have our son Max who is very soon to be 2 Smile and we're not planning another child (well not yet anyway). But i'd like to know how people manage, both physically and mentally. If you have a special needs child who is reliant on you how can you provide for them and the baby?

The only people i know that have special needs children either don't have other children or had the 'healthy' children first so it was (I imagine) a tad easier.

Thanks for looking :-).
#2
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It is hard, im defianlty not going to say it is easy, but if you have alot of support that helps alot. I feel really bad sometimes as i do rely on my older daughter (nearly 8) alot more than i should because i have an almost 5 year old with autism and then have a 15 month old too, but she loves it really, she would never want it any other way, she loves to feel like a mom!! I just hope before she becomes a teenager she changes her mind about liking helping me out! I think when my older daughter is staying at my moms or something it is alot more difficult as it is like i have 2 babies to look after! It is all worth it in the end, but obviously each person has differrent views
#3
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I always said after my son became disabled, that I'd never have another child, partly because it was so difficult, and partly because I was so afraid of the same thing happening. However, when Matthew was 2 I fell pregnant completely by accident. It was an extremely difficult decision, my partner definetely didn't want another child and termination was considered.
At the last minute I couldn't go through with it though.
When our youngest daughter was born, it was very hard, as Matthew was still like a newborn baby, so I always insist I do know what having twins is like!
However there are certainly benefits to it. Matthew was interested in his sister from day one and was always trying to look at her. As shes gained skills, so has he, from being alongside her. For instance, as she learned to crawl, he started to regain head control as he tried to lift up so he could see her better. For my daughter, she has learned acceptance from the start. My eldest remembers Matthew before and during his illness, and whilst she accepts it completely, my youngest has never known Matthew any other way. Shes been surrounded by children with various disabilities, as shes attended any classes and appointments with me, and doesnt bat an eyelid about it. I made a point of sending her to a nursery that has very good SEN provision for this reason too.
My eldest I feel does have the hardest time, but like the post above, I dont think she'd want any different. She loves being a big sister to both her siblings, and has never had issues about fetching me a bottle for her brother, or a nappy for her sister. I feel bad for her when there are things we struggle to do as a family, such as going swimming (the water is too cold for him) or even the cinema occasionally (we once went and there were no wheelchair seats left, hence we couldnt stay) but like her sister she has a very good awareness of disability issues.
#4
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i know i will sound really evil and trust me i feel it but i did fall pregnant last year and felt like the only option was termination

it wasnt something i wanted but i was scared i couldnt give jack the care he needed aswell as be hard for bradley
everything was stacked up against me

cant write to much right now as bradley trying read what im typing
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#5
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to me, it was difficult but do-able. if you find a short cut take it, if you're offered help take it. swallow that pride have a slice of humble pie with and get as much support, physical or emotional as you can! some days are harder than other. But i find Ben has learnt things off Amy, and Amy stands up for herself better than a 2yr olds otherwise would.
Its a very big and personal decision. It depends (In my opinion ) on you circumstances- financial, relationship, support, access to places etc and what needs your child has. I think it is so different for everyone. We have 2 and tbh I wouldn't be able to cope if we had anymore


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