Its really not your fault!! My oldest has no diagnosis, but am sure she has ADHD, my middle one is autistic and has selective mutism and hearing problems, and my youngest is showing some signs of something although im waiting for her to start nursery to see if she changes then as im not sure whether its just copying behaviour from others. My middle one has had selective mutsim since she could talk, she is now 6, and its not as bad as it was but she still wont talk much out of the house so i know how it is :-)

(09-14-2011 05:55 PM)Lucy Wrote:  Awww hunni (((hugs))) life wears us down at times but you know you knew best all along and its nothin you or anyone else has to blame yourselfs for. Hope your feeling better about things now....is their a plan of action now she has a diagnosis??xx

well i hope to get a plan made now,we have a TAC in the 26th,i hope included in that plan will be to not put her on the naughty spot for not speaking.Bless her she spent nearly 6 months of school sitting on that mat because she wouldn't speak to the teacher.
I've recently told the learning mentor if she is placed on there for anything other than actually being naughty,ie,hitting,throwing that kind if thing i will be rolling it up and shoving it where the sun doesn't shine! she has agreed that maybe that strategy doesn't work well for mutes,erm you think???!
Jess is really frustrating as she is my one child without speech issues and yet doesn't speak,at home you can't shut her up!

I completely understand your frustrations and feelings. My son, nearly 4 has Cerebal Palsy and several issues related to this. My daughter I always felt how great it was to have something 'normal' with her, then she colapsed one day and was diagnosed with focal epilepsy. More time in hospitals with reviews and meds. With my daughter they are constantly trying to find route causes and the first thing they did was to try and link it to my sons cp.
I have learnt to know, this is not my fault, my children are who they are and they are made the way they're made. I am the best mum for my children as you are for yours. But what your feeling is normal, keep going, you'll do a great job with your chldren x x x

i also understand how you are feeling, its so hard when your children are diagnoised with any difficultly, let alone for other issues to be found with siblins.
I have 4 children all are statemented and have disabilities. My oldest child has autism and hypermobility. my second child has social communication difficulties, complexed language difficulties, hypermobility, hip antiversion, severve dyspraxia and has just been told she needs hearing aids. that was really tough for her and us we just cried and thought what next. my third child has learning difficulties, social communication difficulties, epilepsy, adhd. my forth child has social communication and speech difficulties.We have deciced no more children i love them all dearly but its sooooo much work.
I also started to blame myself for there difficulties, what could i have done differently what should i do to help them, why didnt i notice or trust my own instints with some of the problems. there are so many whys in my head its endless.
but i do know things could be a lot worse so i usually just push my feelings of inadquacy away anyway im to busy to ponder for long.
im sure your a great mum or you wouldnt be looking for help or asking questions and supporting others. Keep being strong and do what you do best loving your children.