Sounds like its tough for you Becky,keep fighting though dont give up!
Children can be nasty
TWO QUOTES FROM MY DAUGHTERS SCHOOL IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS:

1)Calling my daughter a BIG FAT BROWN LESBIAN.
Firstly she is not fat,nor of any sexuality yet,nor brown????

2)The other week Emily was walking around the living room saying to my son
"We hate jews they are dirty"
I asked her where she got this from and she said a girl at school and i asked her what it meant and she said i dont know!!!!
I explained that it was wrong and explained what racism was and she said it cant be racist dad!!!
I said why and she said because it was a muslim girl who taught it to her......
Its funny how Children think things without knowing what they are or mean but the problem is that in some cases its learnt from home and the Children pick it up and repeat it.
I know how the first comment upset Emily so couldnt imagine how your little boy felt.
As i said stay strong and dont give up!

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Hi becky, i no this is an old post but how did it all go did u manage to find his a new school??

I totally no how u feel your son sounds very much like my little bradley , i had been batteling for 3 yrs to get him a place in a special school and we are very limited here but found out today his got his place for september yayyy!! , he like your son hasnt been coping at all with mainstream , the staff and Children are fantastic with him but he isnt happy and isnt learning a thing, they are trying to teach him at a 8yr olds level wen developmentally his about 3! i am beyond happy that his got his place and although sad to leave his and my friends i really feel excited about his future and all he can achieve i really hope u managed to get things sorted please update xxx