Hi All,
My daughter is 20 months old (17.5 months corrected age) and has spastic diplegia which affects her whole body but mainly her legs and feet. Her prospects for walking are very good (our paed thinks she might start walking around or soon after her 2nd birthday). We definitely want to have a second child, but I'm not sure how big a gap we should leave. I used to think having two to three years between siblings is ideal, but now I really want Leila to be able to walk before I fall pregnant again, to make the pregnancy easier for myself by not having to carry Leila around so much. I also think she deserves my undivided attention for longer than would be necessary for a typical child, and things like the large amount of time we spend doing physio every day would surely suffer a bit once I look after another child. On the other hand, I don't want to have much more than three years between them so they can still be playmates and be interested in the same things at least some of the time, and have a close (and supportive) relationship with each other. What are your thoughts on this? Would be grateful for your perspectives and views on this!

I had my daughter first (she's normal) and she was 4 1/2 when our son was born. Our son has quite a lot of problems and we spend a lot of time at the hospital. We are very lucky that she is older because she understands about her borther being sick and having to spend less time with us. I will even miss her school play next week because her brother has to go to hospital. I suppose it depends on how you would cope with another child with your child's disabilities. It's not an easy decision to make and I feel for you but then again when is it a good time to have another one. I wish you luck and i hope you've found this helpful x

i have 2 children and there's a 16 month old gap between them. being honest my 2nd child wasn't planned but definitely wanted. chloe did have mild developmental delay which now is signs for autism (currently going through the process of waiting for a diagnoses) and caleb was born with PWS. caleb spent his 1st 3 months in hospital came home with a NG tube. anyway, the truth for me is that i've never really known any difference. caleb's now 20months and chloe's just turned 3. fair enough i don't spend as much time doing the housework and probably don't see my friends as much but that's a massive part of parenthood regardless of weather my children having special needs. i feel the close age gap has definitely helped caleb with his development, he has not long started crawling and i credit a lot of that to chloe. he completely dots on her. personally i didn't force their relationship and allowed chloe to go to him in her own time. i think it's what works for you and i agree with mel (above) when is a good time to have another. juggling appointments between the 2 of them is hard and some days i just want to hide from the world but i know i wouldn't be without them. caleb also gets daily physio but a lot of the time chloe joins in, she sees it as her exercises as well. the good think about children is there good at adapting.

hiya i had my first lil man and he had no problems at all and 12 months later i had charlie who has quite a few probs and people dnt seem to understand how i cope but iits something a mother is best at xx its not easy but i love being a mummy of 2 little boys but if i could choose i would of waited until my oldest was 3 before having any more xx

theres no real right answer to this, i have 3 children aged 7,3 and 1 my 3 year old was born with cystinosis a rare genetic condition, we spend alot of time in and out of hospital and he requires care day and night so its tough. I would say the age gap between him and his sister (7) is easier in care terms BUT they are total opposites and dont get on at all, they fight most of the time . Whereas even though it is SO hard only having a 2yr gap between the others, they get along better and play better, i too hope they grow up to be close...all of them, but i know it will probably be easier for the boys with their smaller age gap and the fact they are both boys i think you know when you are ready, when things settle into a routine and you know where you are. Although saying that, i thought i was totally ready for alfie but he blew it all up in the air when he didnt sleep through until atleast about 8months and that was only in our bed hes still in it now and things are tough, but....i suppose thats life goodluck xx