dont know the author of this but a friend sent me it on bebo ages ago & i thought id share it with you all! it helped me through some shaky times!

Ten Commandments for Parents of Special Needs Children

1. Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don't have control over the future, but you do have control over today.

2. Never underestimate your child's potential. Allow them, encourage them,expect them to develop to the best of their abilities.

3. Find and allow positive mentors: parents and professionals who can share with you their experience, advice, and support.

4. Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational and learning environments for your child from infancy on.

5. Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because they get more of your time.

6. Answer only to your conscience: then you'll be able to answer to your child. You need not justify your actions to your friends, relations or the public.

7. Be honest with your feelings. You can't be a super-parent 24 hours a day. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration, and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.

8. Be kind to yourself. Don't focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you have accomplished.

9. Stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles in life that others take for granted.

10. Keep and use a sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress.

The Special Mother, by Erma Bombeck.

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of "special" children.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of "special" children are chosen?

Somehow I visualise God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for
propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a "special" child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a "special" child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has their own world. She has to make them live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a “spoken word”. She will never consider a “step" ordinary. When her child says Mummy for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side". "And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

You lie there. Unaware of the panic that now surrounds you.
Your head bobs with each compression. Yet still you lie there.
You make no noise, while inside I am screaming.
You have not yet been introduced, yet Daddy’s heart hurts with love.
I turn to him now, and wait…
The silence is unbearable. I wait…
A single tear runs slowly down his face. Yet still, I wait.
I cling to hope and faith and pray that soon the silence will stop.
You are fighting so hard, I can feel it.
You already bare the scars of a courageous war.
You are beautiful, perfect.
Don’t give up now.
Brave warriors join you in your battle.
They heard your silent calls for help.
They take you from this fear filled room
And surround you with warmth and your first glimmer of life.
Comforted by the machines that now support you,
We adapt to our new role as spectators of your fragile beginnings.
The rise and fall of your chest is addictive to watch
Not daring to look away, for fear it might stop.
Your leg starts to shake. My heart misses a beat.
You shake all over now, and an alarm sounds.
Once again your silence is heard
And the brave warriors return with unquestionable vigilance.
They fill your precious body with healing liquid
And you return to your silent post.
Days go by and slowly but surely your enemy shows signs of defeat
The rise and fall of your chest is fighting against the machines
And you inhale your first scent of life.
We are full of emotion as our skins touch for the first time
We cry and imprint this memory in our souls
We stare at this work of art, taking note of every line
Not wanting to forget a single moment.
There is cryptic talk of damage to your brain
I am sure that this must be wrong
It feels unreal and we look at you lying there so innocent
How can this angel be so perfect and have so much that is wrong.
The tears fill our eyes as your life is unveiled
And we hurt deep inside for the loss of a boy we once dreamt of
But here is this child so handsome and strong
Our purpose is clear, no more questions need asking
He is perfect, he is needed and loved, and most importantly
He’s my son.

I wrote this to explain to people what happened when Zak was born and why we love him so much.
Hope you like it. xx

oh wow some lovely poems
thank u xx

Self Pity
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself,
a small bird will drop frozen from the bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.

D H Lawrence

love this gives me a kick up the bum when i feel down. funny thing happened when i was posting the author, when the predictive text changed it to darling husband ha ha i wish