I am so sorry! I feel like screaming! But this is quieter and just as relieving!

Once again a mother issue, my mom watched Francesca for me for 2hours last Thursday (finally) I offered her £20 to which she said "keep it till i need it" I did say "id much prefer you to just take it now mom I may not have it when you need it".. end of conversaition
Tuesday she phoned me around midday Frans physio teacher was there so I just wanted to get her off the phone "can I have that £20".. "erm ye- look i have to go frans in physio" .. "ok ill be there around 4" "ok bye"..

health visitor came at 2 and fran goes to a dads group with her dad at 3.30.. but we were running late, so my mom turned up at 4 I only had £10 in the house, but I had borrowed my brother £10 the week before and he said i would get it back wednesday- and considering this was tuesday- I said "I am really sorry that's all I have in the house, but Reece (my brother) I supposed to give me £10 tomorrow you can have that" .... "he wont give it me" ... "course he will, he owes it so why wouldn't he" .. "he has no money" .."but he said he will pay me tomorrow so.. He will have to", and that is all I have sorry" .. she huffed puffed stormed out of my house and slammed the door!!!

I got fran and her dad to dads group (surestart) walked towards town to meet my friend for an hour. My mom phoned "Youve got an attitude probably".. o_o "why..?" then she started screaming abuse at me down the phone- I was getting such funny looks.. Then she hung up 30 mins later did the same thing, said she is never having francesca again, im ungrateful, ill get what she owes me when she is dead, Im evil etc etc etc. hung up.

I was so mad but I waited till I got home and text her a 7 page message (yes I have a lot to say haha) I basically said If she doesn't want to watch Fran then dont, I might lose out on a few trips to the cinmea or nighs out with friends- but Im not letting her use that one against me anymore..

I heard nothing back till today.. you see because my mom has TERRIBLE credit rating (so bad when I was 19 she ran up a catalogue bill in my name and never paid it off- I didnt know until i was 21 and had to pay £700 straight off, couldnt prove it was her cuz she refused to write a letter and I lived there at the time she did it) she has to use one of my bank cards- but always goes over drawn, so when she lost her card my step dad told me not to give it back and to withdraw money for her- but they haven't even sent a new card yet - so i have to transfer money into the account I use (takes 4 days) and withdraw it that way.
She got my sister to message me- "Mom wants her money today, ill get it later" .. "no you wont it takes 4 days to transfer, I will let you know when its in my account" "mom said she dont care if it comes out of your money she wants it today" "well im afraid its not going to work like that, ill contact you in 4 days" "but me and reece have no food or electric please jen cant you just give it us out of your money" ( at this point i should state she was on the computer) "Nope you aren't my responsibility sorry" then my sister started calling me a selfish bitch and what not then blocked me..

Then I had a phone call from my step dad- my mom had told him I had changed all her internet passwords, and I had said she was stealing francescas money, Im evil etc..
for starters, my mom RARELY goes online, sha has a facebook she usually doesn't use and a hotmail account, I dont know her passwords to begin with! So she actually phoned my dad.. in order to get sympathy and turn him against me.. and then she deleted me and frans dad from her facebook (childish or what?!)

I am 23 and I feel like I will never be able to have a drink with friends now *sob* =P
But at the same time I feel I will probably be better off without my mother in my life *sigh* I have gotten alot off my chest, and can now sleep without feeling like I might burst! I think I owe anyone who reads this money haha..

---

Jennifer ♥

And that's your mother?You are better off settng up a network of other people to trust when you need to go out......... sorry but they do say you can't choose your family.
Maybe for a few weeks your mates could come to your place for a few drinks and a good chinwag until you have a minder?
(This post was last modified: 04-10-2010 06:11 AM by fatherjack.)

thats a good idea to get them to come to you altho it mite feel strange at first with your daughter upstairs. i would cut her loose, see how she copes without you because to be honest it sounds like your propping her up permanently!!! familys eh....why do they have to be so complicated!! i think the worst thing is we get angry at them and hurt by them but it still upsets us that they can't just be normal and accepting....like its us! at the end of the day shes ment to be the 'mom' but sounds like shes being more childish than you!!! i'd concentrate on you, your daughter and her daddy.....sod the rest of them

xx

Haha, that is a good idea getting them to come to me, Isay I wont be able to do it- I dont do it anyway at the moment haha! But I was feeling *the option* to do so has now gone.. I am probably just being over dramatic though.
Yes Lucy you are right
I didnt expect anyone to reply, I was just happy to get it all off my chest! thank you!

i was shocked at the first paragraph, you have to pay your mum £20 to look after her grandaughter for 2 hours!!!! isnt that part of being a grandparent??
i would get your stepdad to take care of your mums money if she cant wait the four days for it, after leaving you with debt you dont owe her any favours i think you have more than paid your dues to her for giving birth to you lol
have you looked into direct payments as they can help you find someone who can come to your house and sit with your daughter or crossroads (if they in your area) again will babysit even overnight at your home (but you have to give it time to get comfortable with leaving her with non family) i think if you are paying out that amount of money you would be better with a professional who wont give you abuse and use it as a bargaining tool.
you can have a rant as often as you like on here hope you haveing a better morning
corinne