Hi everyone, ive been lurking so firstly a brief intro.... I've got 4 children,
my eldest son who is 14 was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers around age 5, I also have 2 daughters age 6 and 10, my question relates to my youngest son, Dylan he will turn 5 in Dec and started school on Thursday just gone.I am 100% certain he has adhd/asd and a few delays, especially speech and he WILL NOT toilet train(its most likely hes got rapid transit diahorea, runny stools his whole life) so that could be causing the toileting delay or it could be the asd,all 3 older children were dry/clean day and night by age 3, even the eldest with his problems, so i really dont think its a parenting issue its just dylan for whatever reason not being ready... I sent the dla forms off and they got them on 23rd august, filled them in myself as I had already done them 'successfully' 3 times from when my older son was 5yrs/8ys and the last time when he was 10 they awarded high rate care and low mobility until he is 16 so I think ive done ok with the forms,
however today i get a letter saying they cant tell me yet as they have requested a report from school, does anyone know why they would do this? surely its better for them to contact our GP?, afterall school has NO idea what hes like at home, its not them whos bathroom he floods, or their bottles of shampoo/etc he tips away, and its certainly not them who are up several times in the night with him! Am i certain to be turned down as its the first time ive applied for him? to be honest even though my eldest son went through the same school I still don't think they're 'geared up' on asd/adhd children, this hit home i think yesterday when the teaching assistant had to get dylan down because he'd climbed up on the stone steps(on the outside of them) as she had a look of frustration on her face sort of like she'd had enough, which fair enough she might have done after 4 hours but it was also a look that indicated she just thought him as 'naughty' also my 10yr old daughter told me that he tried to run over to see her in the dinner hall and a different teaching assistant GRABBED his arm and YANKED him backwards(and thats in exactly her own words)also for the 2 days (9-1)he was there last week they didnt bother changing him!, after the first day he came out soaked the pull up was so heavy his trousers were coming down so i went to the head and she said she would have a word with them but they didnt change him the next day either, although luckily he didnt wee as much, hes due to start going all day 9-3 from monday so obviously this non changing thing is a worry, after all if a toilet trained child had an accident they wouldnt leave them in wet clothes so why should dylan have to sit in it?! anyway so basically i'm worried they will put a report in saying hes just naughty despite knowing his history and his brothers how can that be fair and if that does happen what is the next best step? I was thinking a detailed letter from my doctor, or health visitor or even the early years inclusion teacher? anyway sorry for such a long first post! and many thanks in advance for any help/advice

Ask the people that you want to help, would they put in a detailed letter, even if they never asked for it. It would be beneficial to your claim.

Hi, thanks for your reply, yes i'm quite sure my G.P would write a good supporting letter as he wrote me an excellent letter to get Dylan the exit pass/wristband at alton towers and I only had to ask, not sure about the health visitor as the one that i requested a visit from was standing in for our regular health visitor as she is off long term sick(due back sept/oct so i will be asking for her to visit too),also the early years inlusion teacher would probably write us a letter too as she is lovely and was clearly as shocked and horrified as us when the ed psych said he would only be getting 5 hours support each week (she visited on a good day, typically!)
so would you advise I get the letters/send them into dla as soon as possible or should i wait until we're
turned down? Thanks

Hello your first stop to get anything sorted is your doctor , so your doctor will refer you Son too a school nurse , the school nurse will make arrangement's to come and visit to get a better inisight and there after should follow referal's to maybe camhs

http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/CAMHSreview/
we found it easiers to get a result off a DLA claim after the professionals had been involved we could show there a proper ( caff ) form and the invlovement of professionals helped our case but you may get it straight away who knows my sons was dragged my him arm along some grass by a dinner lady which I seen unfortunatley for them. I was so close to charging her with assault but because my wife works in the same chain of school only at a higher level i let em off with a warning. this is not good to hear as a parent you need to get a proffesional involved as a soon as pos take him to the doctor and say you suspect asbergers etc and ask for a referal to a school nurse and things should take off from there ( doctor ) first stop

good luck been there and I still am

Get them now and send them in, just make sure you get a copy of them just in case you get turned down and you'll have the proof that your child needs help and they only looked at your school reports. All evidence is needed.