Hi All

I am really hoping you can give me some advice. My son had ADHD and OCD and senses no danger at all, struggles very hard to mix and his OCD means he doesnt really eat when different people have made food.

My mom has now started collecting him from school very day and doing activities with him and obsviously he is eating very well at hers as he knows she is prepareing his food.

My mom doesnt work now which has gave her the time to collect my son from school as I work full time.

I cant afford to give her any money towards food or activities, would direct payments be able to offer me any help, either to me so I can give my mom something or directly to my mom.

Help, I feel guilty for working but cant afford not to, I feel guilty that my mom is giving me this help and I cant give her anything to help. Any advice given is much appreciated as I feel I am sinking fast.......

Hi, direct payments are solely for respite care, they don't pay for childcare when working. They wouldn't cover what you describe above, you could get help with a registered child carer from tax credits to help but unless your mom is registered, they wouldn't cover her as you have to provide a registration number for the nursery. Do you think he would adjust to someone new once he's spent time in advance settling and getting to know them? xx

Just to confirm what Lucy has wrote this would be classed as childcare and not respite and as such you could have other options such as tax credits funding an afterschool club.
But the way the authority would look at it is if you were picking your son up you would be feeding him and therefore the money you save in this aspect could feed him at your mums.
It does sound a little harsh but in all honesty they would say this.

Respite is for families who are struggling to provide care due to health or tiredness or are so tired because they provide night care or extensive day care.
Have you looked at tax credits child care funding as a possibility?