Parents of disabled children-Special needs forum support group

My son (5, has Aspergers) is due to start school in August and I'm dreading it. His nursery teacher also agrees it isn't going to be easy for him. Every day when I take him to nursery he screams and cries when I drop him off, he kicks and hits the teachers when they take him off me, which thankfully they understand he's not doing it to be naughty or anything and then I after I leave, he just kinda goes to the story corner and lies down on his own until he decides he wants to do anything. His nursery teacher says this is all ok in nursery but she worried about when he starts school because obviously he can't do this. He'll be getting an Learning Assistant but they're not sure the funding or whatever it is will be through in time for him starting P1. Even so, they're not sure how he's going to cope with the lining up and then going in and sitting down in his seat ready to start right away.

We had the P1 transistion day on Friday and that was a nightmare, his nursery teacher said we could leave early because he was getting so upset. It was just because it's so out of routine for him, normally he goes to nursery and thats it, but on Friday he was in nursery for a little while, then in various parts of the school for looking around and doing activities.

After hearing all the stuff that's expected of him when he starts P1, I'm just getting really worried because I really don't think he's going to cope.

We have a meeting at the school on the 9th June with the nursery teacher, P1 teacher and someone who is going to be our outreach worker from spectrum. I want to make the most of this meeting but I really have no idea where to start. I'm going to make all my concerns clear, and his nursery teacher seems to have the same worries as me which is good to know it's not just me being a neurotic parent. So I was wondering what kind of things should I be asking? I have no idea about what support to ask for/expect for him? Also, with the struggles of getting him into school every day, I know it's not just going wear off after a few weeks, this went on for 6 months at his first nursery, right up until he was excluded and it's also been happening since he started his current nursery a couple of months ago, so what's likely to happen with that? Do the school just have to put up with it or can they exclude him or anything? He kicks out and hits when they're trying to hold him while I get away. I don't know how long I can put him (or me) throught that but I've no idea what the solution to that is.

If you think he's going to struggle that much in a school would he not maybe be better in a special school where the staff there are more suited to dealing with children with all kinds of disabilities? My daughter has Global Developmental Delay and I'm hoping she can go to a special school next year as I think it will be the best thing for her. xx

I think it's probably too late to even apply for a special school. I don't think anyone thought he would still be struggling this much, I also kinda thought he'd settle in a bit eventually. I have no idea about specials schools or what the admissions process is.

I don't either, to be honest. My daughter is 3.5 years and I've just told her nursery/paediatrician and pre-school support worker that I want her to go to a special school next year. She's progressing nicely with things, she has Global Developmental Delay, but i don't think that even by this time next year she'll be anywhere near ready enough or be able to cope in a mainstream school. She might not need a special school all her schooling years, she might progress really well, or she might continue to stay there and need a special secondary school too, I've not a clue what's going to happen but as things go now I think a special school would be best for her so the ball is rolling now for her to get a Statement of Special Educational Needs written. My paediatrician has contacted the educational psychologist about this, there's no rush for us as it's a year off yet but the paediatrician is happy for things to start moving now. I'm sure there are people here who have more idea of Statementing than I do, as I still don't know what's involved, they might be able to help you more.
The whole thing sounds very stressful for you.

have you tried phoning special needs schools in your area and asking if you can go in for a visit? i dont think its too late unless the school has a waiting list and that doesnt always mean its the best school just the most well known . different schools have different rules so while one may insist on a statement another might be happy for him so start and the statement done while he is there.
another thing is he might be able to use school transport which might be easier for you both as its a change of routine as its him leaving you not the other way around